Optimism

Bringing condoms to a family funeral

Person 1: Shit, have you got a condom?
Person 2: We’re going to our Aunt’s funeral?!
Person 1: Yeah, but you know, what if?
Person 2: Fair enough bra. That’s optimism

by Mebemax September 7, 2023

Actual Optimal

When an action or object is "actual optimal" it is to be of optimum actuality.

"bro thats actual optimal"
"whats the fuck does that mean"
"actual optimal"
"actual optimal"

by sssly August 23, 2022

Das's Law of Optimism/Pessimism

The glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Get there.

Das's Law of Optimism/Pessimism is derived from something said by George Carlin. It explains that sometimes you expect too much of yourself and it gets you down in life.

by Mindbladeskillyaks June 16, 2010

Optimized Game Syndrome

A person who believes anything added to a game that looks nice or fun to play will automatically make the game laggy.

Developer: Yo we should really add Attack Helicopters
Owner: No that will make the game laggy, we have too much tech.
Developer: Bro stop having Optimized Game Syndrome

by xalency May 19, 2024

optimizer

Bullshit software made up by Chinese companies as a form of making extra cash.

IOBit Advanced System Optimizer is useless, it does nothing for your computer

by nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn January 5, 2021

Hypothetical Optimism

When someone tells you “things get better” but that isn’t really true. They say this because they have a hypothetical belief that you can have someone to help you get better.

1:Hey man, you have someone to talk to, trust me.
2:That’s hypothetical optimism because I have no one to talk to. I’m also lonely as fuck.

by whx November 19, 2023

Optimizely

When two practitioners discuss at a conference, typically Opticon, about Optimizely nee:testing/experimentation on their digital products

"Did you Optimizely that?"

by optimize(ly) August 30, 2019