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Midtown Near Mint 

This is the condition the vast majority of comics from Midtown Comics arrive in despite all new comics being labeled as "near mint." Midtown near mint comics almost always have signs of being hastily handled and poorly packaged evidenced by color breaking spine ticks, color rub on the back of the comics, small dings and bends and would be accurately graded as "very fine/near mint" at best.
Rather than change how they handle and package their comics to prevent this damage, Midtown has recently changed their return policy making it harder to get a full refund due to the high volume of complaints they have been receiving.
Seller claims the comic is "perfect" but the pictures show multiple small color breaking spine ticks and color rub on the back cover so it's obviously "Midtown near mint" at best.

nowhere near the asking 

Any result from a transaction that was disappointing.

Not getting what you wanted or expected from something.
What did you get for the Beemer in the end?

£3 large
Nowhere near the asking then! (Car on sale for £4500)

What was she like on the blowjobs?
Nowhere near the asking - about 6/10
Goose then!
Yeah.

I'm going nowhere near the asking on those Glasto tickets I'd sooner watch it on telly!

Off the 5 next to the Ikea. You know, near the McDonald's where we got that strawberry milkshake? 

A meaningless phrase originally coined by Derrick from RHPC
Can be inserted into nearly any conversation.
Person 1: Hey, were you at the party last night?

Person 2: Nah, I was off the 5 next to the Ikea. You know, near the McDonald's where we got that strawberry milkshake?
Almost but not quite
I damn near cut off my finger.
Damn Near by Claydaman April 13, 2011

Rectum? Damn near killed him!

Punch line to the joke listed below.

Made popular by a scene in the movie Black Sheep where Chris Farely's character is loudly heard telling the punchline. Abscence of the body of the joke in the movie led many to believe the joke did not really exist and there was only a punchline.
Little Johnnie's teacher asked him how his weekend was.

"Horrible, a car hit my dog in the ass," he said.

The teacher corrected, "Johnnie, we say 'rectum.'"

Little Johnnie replied "Rectum? Damn near killed him!"

hot local voluptuous thicc beautiful lovely delicious pretty fantastic amazing scrumptious fine sweet baddies near me

Jack : OMG! Guess who’s the hot local voluptuous thicc beautiful lovely delicious pretty fantastic amazing scrumptious fine sweet baddies near me?
Marvin : Who?
Jack : YOUR MOM !!