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Mach Jesus

Mach Jesus is a way to describe something faster than anything in the universe.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.
"News reporter: A missile headed towards a random island going mach jesus has been detected by the navy"
by SidneysHandle404 February 19, 2024
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Mach fuck

used to describe the speed of projectiles below Lightspeed and more than Mach 1
"The SR 71 went Mach fuck"
by TheAussiephallic April 17, 2024
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Related Words

Mach Fuck

Speed of something that is going 20x escape velocity
"that manhole cover was going 20x the escape velocity. It went Mach Fuck."
by The Urbaner's dic(tionary) April 19, 2024
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Mach Finger Butthole

Stemmed from an inside joke about Pizza Tower, "Mach Finger Butthole" Is a nonsense term referring to a rambunctiously high speed.
Bro... he's going mach finger butthole..

What the fuck?
by ZynexGD December 10, 2024
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Mach Potato

The polar opposite of Mach Fuck, which is fast as fuck, Mach Potato is a speed that is slow as shit.
Pedal to the metal, balls to the wall, the T-28 Doom Turtle's coming at you at the speed of Mach Potato, maxing out at like 8 miles per hour.
by CorgisDie June 3, 2025
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Mach Fuck

Used to describe the absolutely ridiculous speed of something.

Often used in a joking manner in order to enhance the humor of a joke.

Most notably used to describe the speed of a well known manhole cover that a nuclear experiment launched into space.
An alien army got wrecked by a manhole cover traveling at mach fuck!

I love when someone hits me with a kraber while traveling at mach fuck.
by Kilominum June 21, 2025
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Mach Tornado

A sex act where a dozen Asian men urinate on you while running around you in a circle. The men will often run at high speeds (Mach 2) which results in what seems to be a yellow tornado from the outside. If done correctly, the intense angular momentum combined with their rotational pissing will allow them to achieve liftoff for a short time, carrying you in the process. This is typically only successful due to its immense surprise factor, and lasts a short time due to their limited bladders and small penis’s.
When David finally arrived in Japan, he was surprised with a Mach Tornado from men who looked very much like women.
by The Muntologist July 8, 2025
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