An invitation to an event given solely because of the invitee's close proximity to a conversation about said event.
Proximity invitations most often occur due to feelings of guilt and/or pity, but can also happen in an attempt to fix the awkwardness of the situation. They have been given in the hopes that the invitee is not able to attend the event; however, this is never a smart move, as it always has the potential to backfire.
It is very important to stay emotionless in any situation where a proximity invite could be given to an undesirable. If one of the people conversing about the event senses any weakness at all in one or more of the other conversers, he/she should recognize that a proximity invitation could be imminent, and should forcibly remove himself/herself and the other conversers from the situation, offering an excuse to the would-be invitee if necessary. REMEMBER: you may be the bad guy now, but they WILL thank you later.
Some undesirables are brazen enough to actively seek out proximity invitations by purposefully placing themselves close to those conversing about an event. This technique, known throughout the undesirable community as "seek and destroy," has been reported to work on conversers who are of equal or lesser popularity than the undesirable. They will usually be ignored by conversers who are more popular than the undesirable, unless one or more of the conversers has a reputation for being sympathetic or kindhearted.
DO NOT be swayed by the undesirable's strongest weapon: a sarcastic "Thanks for the invite" or anything similar. A good counter to this phrase is an equally sarcastic "You're welcome" or "My pleasure" or anything along those lines.
If the undesirable is so bold as to actually pretend that they have already received an invitation, it is absolutely necessary that they are put in their place. A simple but effective "You're not invited" will suffice, but it is always a good idea to follow this with an insult, so as to show the undesirable that he/she is not wanted. Ex. "You're not invited, assfaggot."
Proximity invitations most often occur due to feelings of guilt and/or pity, but can also happen in an attempt to fix the awkwardness of the situation. They have been given in the hopes that the invitee is not able to attend the event; however, this is never a smart move, as it always has the potential to backfire.
It is very important to stay emotionless in any situation where a proximity invite could be given to an undesirable. If one of the people conversing about the event senses any weakness at all in one or more of the other conversers, he/she should recognize that a proximity invitation could be imminent, and should forcibly remove himself/herself and the other conversers from the situation, offering an excuse to the would-be invitee if necessary. REMEMBER: you may be the bad guy now, but they WILL thank you later.
Some undesirables are brazen enough to actively seek out proximity invitations by purposefully placing themselves close to those conversing about an event. This technique, known throughout the undesirable community as "seek and destroy," has been reported to work on conversers who are of equal or lesser popularity than the undesirable. They will usually be ignored by conversers who are more popular than the undesirable, unless one or more of the conversers has a reputation for being sympathetic or kindhearted.
DO NOT be swayed by the undesirable's strongest weapon: a sarcastic "Thanks for the invite" or anything similar. A good counter to this phrase is an equally sarcastic "You're welcome" or "My pleasure" or anything along those lines.
If the undesirable is so bold as to actually pretend that they have already received an invitation, it is absolutely necessary that they are put in their place. A simple but effective "You're not invited" will suffice, but it is always a good idea to follow this with an insult, so as to show the undesirable that he/she is not wanted. Ex. "You're not invited, assfaggot."
Jack: Hey, did you hear about the party at my house tonight?
Jill: Yeah, I can't wait!
That Cunthole Steve: ...
Jack: So... Steve... wanna come to my party tonight?
That Cunthole Steve: Sure!
Jack and Jill: Fuck.
---
Jack: Hey, did you hear about the party at my house tonight?
Jill: Yeah, I can't wait!
That Cunthole Steve: ...
Jack: ...You're not getting a proximity invitation, assfaggot.
That Cunthole Steve: I wish I had friends.
Jill: Yeah, I can't wait!
That Cunthole Steve: ...
Jack: So... Steve... wanna come to my party tonight?
That Cunthole Steve: Sure!
Jack and Jill: Fuck.
---
Jack: Hey, did you hear about the party at my house tonight?
Jill: Yeah, I can't wait!
That Cunthole Steve: ...
Jack: ...You're not getting a proximity invitation, assfaggot.
That Cunthole Steve: I wish I had friends.
by Reuben Z. Clitz August 20, 2009
Get the Proximity invitation mug.The Cadet Initiation is a series of tasks a new cadet has to perform when he becomes a cadet -- one of mine was to give a blowjob to any other cadet who wanted one - which was all of them!
by USAF Cadet October 8, 2020
Get the Cadet Initiation mug.When you repeat a previous statement with the word "just" inserted to make it seem even more correct.
by Wayward Penguin January 22, 2011
Get the Just-ification mug.Person A lays on the floor while Person B takes off their pants and stands over Person A's face. Person C pours a beer down Person B's ass crack, causing the beer to drip of Person B's taint, into Person A's mouth.
by crispiness December 17, 2008
Get the Moose Lodge Initiation mug.The act of converting normal nouns, verbs and everyday speech and inflections into "dude" quotes.
Why did you do that? becomes Dude?
What is wrong with you? becomes Dude?
Check out that sweet ass! becomes Dude!
Why did you do that? becomes Dude?
What is wrong with you? becomes Dude?
Check out that sweet ass! becomes Dude!
Why did you do that? becomes Dude?
What is wrong with you? becomes Dude?
Check out that sweet ass! becomes Dude!
I found $20! Dude$
Daves English teacher was very disturbed by the erosion of the English langauge. he decided to write a book on the "Dude-ification of America".
What is wrong with you? becomes Dude?
Check out that sweet ass! becomes Dude!
I found $20! Dude$
Daves English teacher was very disturbed by the erosion of the English langauge. he decided to write a book on the "Dude-ification of America".
by Sputum-Man December 1, 2009
Get the dude-ification mug.in the deep confines of our mind we creat limitations for ourself...these "limitations"are the only thing keeping us from achieving greatness...armed with a sledgehammer i will not be bound down.
by coman November 24, 2004
Get the limitation mug.I heard her say she hated my shoes on Monday, and now she has some just like it because she's an imitator hater.
by DeeBby<3 April 12, 2009
Get the imitator hater mug.