A small and typically rounded turdlet that clings to one's fleshy
biscuits following the commencement of a sacred ritual known as, "The Deuce." Although dingleberries appear harmless, being roughly the
size of small pebbles, they are well-known for causing unspeakable destruction if
left unattended. The common symptoms of neglected dingleberries include; itching and swelling of the rectal area, redness, unbearable odor, and discomfort while seated. Some of the symptoms that have never occurred include; nausea, vomiting, sudden and involuntary
death, and ultimately erectile dysfunction.
During a
long and violent struggle to free himself from a single turdlet, the man ultimately fell from his toilet seat and cracked his head open on the
bathroom counter. The man's decayed remains were found three years later, still lying in the exact position he had died. The dingleberry, on the other hand, remained
fully intact.