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a Calvin

To be so sad that you go home drunk and alone, cry and masturbate using your own tears as lubrication.
Jon:Dude got dumped on Valentine's Day.
Ace: He's going home to pull a Calvin.
by Varnell August 7, 2006
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Calvinism

A theological system made up by Augustine of Hippo, further systematized by the arriving of John Calvin. It teaches double-predestination; fatalism.
Argues for Calvinism with a Christian predestined to argue against Calvinism.
by PourSonFils.com August 13, 2014
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calvin

literally the cutest human ever everyone should love him bc he’s literally the best don’t feel special the calvin reading this it wasn’t for you
look it’s calvin i wish i was like him
by layla:(: April 30, 2020
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Calvinitis

A syndrome commonly associated with people who find the toilet a place to rush or be rushed upon, often leading to inadequate wiping or no wiping at all. This generally causes the smearage of dingleberries on, and around the anus.
'I was taking a shit when my phone rang, no time to wipe, left me with calvinitis for the rest of the day.'
by onearmninja March 4, 2009
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calvin

It was 1 calvin before the bell and the day already was bad.
by Verthicha January 5, 2014
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Calvinism

A system of belief promoted by its author John Calvin based entirely on a Platonic evaluation of the letters of Paul of Tarsus. Calvin posited that Christ died for a very few people and then re-interpreted both the Old Testament and the New Testament with the idea of a predestined fate for every person as being among the elected minority or the damned majority. It does great violence to the New Testament by making it subject to a Pauline interpretation of the Old Testament. Also a totalitarian pseudo-Christian cult of the Puritan or Reformed variety. It denies free will and imposes the biblical law of Calvin's Institutes on all people.
Calvinism was the theology behind the police state run by Oliver Cromwell in the 1650s.
by normal5574 March 9, 2015
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Calvinized

When one is screwed over by someone named Calvin.
Batman: "Robin, Do you copy?"
Robin: "Go ahead, Batman"
Batman: "You've just been Calvinized"
Robin: "Oh, no he didn't!"
by The Gibler October 30, 2011
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