A beast that has been around since the dawn of time. It is the embodiment of all end-of-the-world prophecies past, present, and future. Its "moo" is a siren's call that leads the gullible, stupid, and ignorant to drink the kool-aid of its teats, hypnotizing them to believe that "judgement day" is closer than it actually is. The hypnotized are so certain of such "imminent" doom that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and they even try to manufacture such apocalypses.
The name comes from the fact that every religious cult has been milking the end-of-world scenario since crawling out of their caves.
The name comes from the fact that every religious cult has been milking the end-of-world scenario since crawling out of their caves.
Nut: It's May 21, 2011! THE DAY OF DESTRUCTION IS UPON US!!!!
Sane person: Someone's been suckling on the Apocalypse Cow's teats again.
Sane person: Someone's been suckling on the Apocalypse Cow's teats again.
by Nunuv Yabizness June 21, 2011
Get the Apocalypse Cow mug.A raptor apocolypse is an apocolypse with raptors in it. It usually happens when some scientist replicates the DNA from a mosquito trapped in amber.
Scientist now: Hey, lets take this dead mosquito and get the blood from it so we can replicate dinosaurs...it will be awesome!
Scientist next week: OH MY GOSH! KILL IT KILL IT! ITS A RAPTOR APOCALYPSE!
Scientist next week: OH MY GOSH! KILL IT KILL IT! ITS A RAPTOR APOCALYPSE!
by raptorman20056 July 19, 2012
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I can't wait until the zombie apocalypse happens so that I don't have to go to work all the time and get bitched at by that annoying bitch of a boss.
by Krackerjacksnacks August 11, 2017
Get the Zombie Apocalypse mug.A combination of the two terms apocalypse and bullshit.
Apocalyshits refer to all of the so-called "end of the worlds" that were supposed to have happened, but simply turned out to be bullshit.
Hence, apocalyshits.
Apocalyshits refer to all of the so-called "end of the worlds" that were supposed to have happened, but simply turned out to be bullshit.
Hence, apocalyshits.
2800 b.c., 634 b.c., 389 b.c., the 1st century, c.a. 70, the 2nd century, 247, 365, 380, the late 4th century, 500, April 6th, 793, 800, 992, 1000, 1184, 1260, 1306, 1370, February 14, 1420, 1496, c.a. 1504, 1525, April 5, 1534, 1600, 1648, 1694, 1700, 1757, October 14, 1804, August 7, 1847, 1972, 1981, June 28, 1981, September 30, 1989, October 7, 1994, November 17, 1997, 2000, January 16, 2000, February 12, 2006, April 6, 2008, AND May 21, 2011 are only a few of the many, MANY APOCALYSHITS.
I will be laughing my ass off on December 22, 2012. ;D
I will be laughing my ass off on December 22, 2012. ;D
by JSTK October 14, 2011
Get the Apocalyshits mug.by Monkey Sling Poo October 15, 2011
Get the Apocalyshit mug.Excessive femininity in a confined space. Side effects include but are not limited to: extreme giggling, nonsensical life chats, obsession over boys, overly sexual music, discussing fornication and fellatio, and a tendency to overanalyze any aspect of human interaction.
Mike: Have you seen those girls in apartment 49 E lately?
Tyler: Hell yeah! It's like the estrogen apocalypse in there!
Tyler: Hell yeah! It's like the estrogen apocalypse in there!
by OhioStateBitchessss July 26, 2011
Get the estrogen apocalypse mug.A day described by MesoAmerican culture that occurs every 52 years. this can be best explained by the end of the Aztecs in 1519. Ten years prior, there had been eight warning signs documented by the respected statesmen named Tzihuacpopoca. The following were reported in Tenochtitlan, the Aztec capital:
1. A comet appeared in the sky during the day.
2. A pillar of fire (possibly the comet) appeared in the night sky.
3. The temple of Huitzilopochtli was destroyed by fire.
4. A bolt of lightning struck the Tzonmolco temple.
5. Tenochtitlan was flooded.
6. Strange people with many heads but one body were seen walking through that city.
7. A woman was heard weeping a dirge for the Aztecs. (possible the fabled La Llorona)
8.A strange bird was caught. When Moctezuma looked into its mirror-like eyes, he saw unfamiliar men landing on the coast.
So what you say? well 52 years earlier Henry VII, who killed so many people, was born. The event every 52 years is known as the Tying of Years. The next Tying of Years is 2029. Personally i dont believe in any of it, but it is an extraordinary sequence of coincedences. In 1977, however, Mount Nyiragongo in Zaire erupted, killing slews of people in surrounding villages. Also a lesser note, snow fell in Miami in 1977, awkward. The Tying of Years is described in the writings of Xyochtolocan as follows: "When the coupling of great years and then some rounds(great year = 22 years) there will be suffering, a string of events that will bring the Earth as we know it to its knees, every period of the time described, bringing the world to the very brink of the apocolypse."
Some say the Mayan calander ends in 2012, which is an undisputed fact. The Mayans were basically the Aztecs and declined in 1519, the same time the Aztecs did when Hernan Cortez invaded. Same religion also, the mesoamerican spinoff. What i dont understand is that if the world will end in 2012, why isnt this one of the 52 year increments? if it goes 1977 - 2029 - 2081 and so on, then there must not be a very serious slew of events occuring in 2012.
The universe will probably end in another 18-20 billion years, due to one of the following.
If the big bang theory holds true, we will eventually coast back towards the point of creation and be recompacted back into a single molecule. sucks to live in the year 18,000,002,005 huh?
Or if there was some other way we were created, Earth will probably be engulfed by the sun. call me crazy, but scientists have theorisized that the earth and all of the planets are slowly coasting towards the sun, due to the suns gravitational pull. This isnt a result of the big bang if it happened, because Andromeda (52,000,000 light years away M32 closest galaxy, supports life) and its planets are not moving towards its sun. Andromeda's sun is also much dimmer, but the 5 planets of Andromeda are much closer to the sun, so all of them could support life. So eventually, we will either be
A) Compressed into an atom. Sorry, thats just the way its gotta go down.
B) Roasted alive by our beautiful sun
C) If the Mayan theory is right, which i just disproved, we will be over run by evil men, implode, burn alive, the dead will walk the earth, a large battle will erupt on the charred remnants of earth, and eventually the world will be ruled by just one man, described as "Dressed in black with dark hair, fair skinned."
You choose, but if i had to put my money on anything, i would say B.
1. A comet appeared in the sky during the day.
2. A pillar of fire (possibly the comet) appeared in the night sky.
3. The temple of Huitzilopochtli was destroyed by fire.
4. A bolt of lightning struck the Tzonmolco temple.
5. Tenochtitlan was flooded.
6. Strange people with many heads but one body were seen walking through that city.
7. A woman was heard weeping a dirge for the Aztecs. (possible the fabled La Llorona)
8.A strange bird was caught. When Moctezuma looked into its mirror-like eyes, he saw unfamiliar men landing on the coast.
So what you say? well 52 years earlier Henry VII, who killed so many people, was born. The event every 52 years is known as the Tying of Years. The next Tying of Years is 2029. Personally i dont believe in any of it, but it is an extraordinary sequence of coincedences. In 1977, however, Mount Nyiragongo in Zaire erupted, killing slews of people in surrounding villages. Also a lesser note, snow fell in Miami in 1977, awkward. The Tying of Years is described in the writings of Xyochtolocan as follows: "When the coupling of great years and then some rounds(great year = 22 years) there will be suffering, a string of events that will bring the Earth as we know it to its knees, every period of the time described, bringing the world to the very brink of the apocolypse."
Some say the Mayan calander ends in 2012, which is an undisputed fact. The Mayans were basically the Aztecs and declined in 1519, the same time the Aztecs did when Hernan Cortez invaded. Same religion also, the mesoamerican spinoff. What i dont understand is that if the world will end in 2012, why isnt this one of the 52 year increments? if it goes 1977 - 2029 - 2081 and so on, then there must not be a very serious slew of events occuring in 2012.
The universe will probably end in another 18-20 billion years, due to one of the following.
If the big bang theory holds true, we will eventually coast back towards the point of creation and be recompacted back into a single molecule. sucks to live in the year 18,000,002,005 huh?
Or if there was some other way we were created, Earth will probably be engulfed by the sun. call me crazy, but scientists have theorisized that the earth and all of the planets are slowly coasting towards the sun, due to the suns gravitational pull. This isnt a result of the big bang if it happened, because Andromeda (52,000,000 light years away M32 closest galaxy, supports life) and its planets are not moving towards its sun. Andromeda's sun is also much dimmer, but the 5 planets of Andromeda are much closer to the sun, so all of them could support life. So eventually, we will either be
A) Compressed into an atom. Sorry, thats just the way its gotta go down.
B) Roasted alive by our beautiful sun
C) If the Mayan theory is right, which i just disproved, we will be over run by evil men, implode, burn alive, the dead will walk the earth, a large battle will erupt on the charred remnants of earth, and eventually the world will be ruled by just one man, described as "Dressed in black with dark hair, fair skinned."
You choose, but if i had to put my money on anything, i would say B.
by Corbyn December 23, 2005
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