Q: How do yo confuse a blond?
A: Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
Q: What did Jimmy's grandma get him for Christmas?
A: Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving day.
Q: How do you make an electrician sad?
A: Kill his family.
Q: How do you kill a blond?
A: There are many different ways, but all of them would be wrong, because murder is illegal.
Q: What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.
Q: What did the women say after her husband hit her?
A: Nothing. She was physically abused for 35 years before committing suicide.
Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: It can't be, because numbers are not sentient and do not fear anything.
Q: What does baseball and the Holocaust have in common?
A: They are both sports, except the Holocaust.
Q: Why do black people love chicken?
A: Because it tastes good.
Q: What's worse than rainy days?
A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion.
Q: Why did the Jew pick up the one dollar bill?
A: He dropped it.
Q: How did the fat man survive the plane crash?
A: He didn't he died like everyone else.
A: Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
Q: What did Jimmy's grandma get him for Christmas?
A: Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving day.
Q: How do you make an electrician sad?
A: Kill his family.
Q: How do you kill a blond?
A: There are many different ways, but all of them would be wrong, because murder is illegal.
Q: What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.
Q: What did the women say after her husband hit her?
A: Nothing. She was physically abused for 35 years before committing suicide.
Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: It can't be, because numbers are not sentient and do not fear anything.
Q: What does baseball and the Holocaust have in common?
A: They are both sports, except the Holocaust.
Q: Why do black people love chicken?
A: Because it tastes good.
Q: What's worse than rainy days?
A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion.
Q: Why did the Jew pick up the one dollar bill?
A: He dropped it.
Q: How did the fat man survive the plane crash?
A: He didn't he died like everyone else.
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was angry. Really angry.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0-200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!"
The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway.
He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently.
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife died in a car accident."
A man walks into a bar and orders six shots.
The bartender asks, "Rough day?"
The man replies, "Yes, very rough."
The man later went home and hung himself.
Did you hear about the blond who jumped off a bridge?
She died.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have a gun
Get in the car.
Anti-jokes are hilarious.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0-200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!"
The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway.
He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently.
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife died in a car accident."
A man walks into a bar and orders six shots.
The bartender asks, "Rough day?"
The man replies, "Yes, very rough."
The man later went home and hung himself.
Did you hear about the blond who jumped off a bridge?
She died.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have a gun
Get in the car.
Anti-jokes are hilarious.
by thisisnotaverygoodname November 30, 2011
Get the anti-jokemug. Anti-political thought and action (or antipolitics) views the social world as separate from and in polar opposition to the political world. For the anti-political activist, one’s moral conduct takes precedence over any alignment with established political channels, often with an emphasis on individual liberty in the face of perceived "authoritarian" political arrangements. The social world is viewed as natural, the political world as artificial and oppressive. One example would be Occupy Wall Street, where putting forward political demands was given low priority in favor of creating a communal "festival of resistance."
The term dates to the 19th century. The anarchist Mikhail Bakunin argued for "social (and therefore anti-political) organization." Other figures who could be considered anti-political include Mahatma Gandhi and Vaclav Havel.
The term dates to the 19th century. The anarchist Mikhail Bakunin argued for "social (and therefore anti-political) organization." Other figures who could be considered anti-political include Mahatma Gandhi and Vaclav Havel.
The strongly anti-political demonstrators jeered and would not allow a sympathetic congressman to speak.
by Fischbyne May 23, 2016
Get the anti-politicalmug. An anti-softlock is a resource used to prevent or get out of an apparent softlock in a videogame (which has been put there by design). It provides the player with a way out of the designed softlock by providing an exit or a way to kill their character in order to return to a previous save state.
Unlike softlocks, anti-softlocks are placed by design and are not effective in true softlocks from by faulty design, death on spawn, spawning inside a wall, or a game autosaving right the instant before you die.
Unlike softlocks, anti-softlocks are placed by design and are not effective in true softlocks from by faulty design, death on spawn, spawning inside a wall, or a game autosaving right the instant before you die.
by Abarbarea June 27, 2019
Get the Anti-softlockmug. Anti-humor and anti-jokes (also known as unjokes) are a kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.
Comedians known for their anti-humor are Norm Macdonald, Ted Chippington, Neil Hamburger, Corey Mystyshyn, and Bill Bailey.
Comedians known for their anti-humor are Norm Macdonald, Ted Chippington, Neil Hamburger, Corey Mystyshyn, and Bill Bailey.
ANTI-JOKE: (anti-humor)
Two atoms walk down the street, Silver and Iron. Suddenly, Iron screams and keels over on the floor, coughing up blood and a strange little ball that vanishes in an instant. Silver asks him what happened.
"I...I think I just lost an Electron."
Silver is taken aback. "Are you sure?"
Iron turns to him slowly. His eyes are pulsing red and veins are showing all along his shiny face. Clouds roll in. Darkness falls, thunder cracks in the distance, the light creating a sharp profile of Iron before he falls back into a darkness pierced only by his gleaming eyes. Finally, he opens his mouth, and slowly he wraps his word around every syllable, savouring it. He says... "Of course I'm fucking sure!"
REAL JOKE:
Two atoms walking down the street.
One says "I've lost an electron."
Other says "Are you sure?"
First says "I'm positive."
Two atoms walk down the street, Silver and Iron. Suddenly, Iron screams and keels over on the floor, coughing up blood and a strange little ball that vanishes in an instant. Silver asks him what happened.
"I...I think I just lost an Electron."
Silver is taken aback. "Are you sure?"
Iron turns to him slowly. His eyes are pulsing red and veins are showing all along his shiny face. Clouds roll in. Darkness falls, thunder cracks in the distance, the light creating a sharp profile of Iron before he falls back into a darkness pierced only by his gleaming eyes. Finally, he opens his mouth, and slowly he wraps his word around every syllable, savouring it. He says... "Of course I'm fucking sure!"
REAL JOKE:
Two atoms walking down the street.
One says "I've lost an electron."
Other says "Are you sure?"
First says "I'm positive."
by PieInMyEye November 5, 2009
Get the anti-humormug. Ex: "Bae: come over.
Me: I can't I'm doing homework.
Bae: my parents aren't home.
Me: My apologies, but my grades in this class are very low, and unless I don't want to get into honors, I better get going on it, so thank you for the offer, but I politely decline.
Person reading meme: What a anti meme !
Me: I can't I'm doing homework.
Bae: my parents aren't home.
Me: My apologies, but my grades in this class are very low, and unless I don't want to get into honors, I better get going on it, so thank you for the offer, but I politely decline.
Person reading meme: What a anti meme !
by Ricardohasherpes November 15, 2016
Get the anti mememug. Someone who doesn't fear "666" the number of the beast, most likely someone into Satan Worship and/or the occult.
Dave is into Satanism and likes to use double negative words like anti-hexakosioihexekontahexaphobic to explain he likes 666 symbology and thinks he's cool.
by crazynuts mcgee December 7, 2009
Get the anti-hexakosioihexekontahexaphobicmug. This is the product of someone who misses being humorous by so wide a mark so often, that they become the antithesis of funny!
That commercial is so bad it is anti-funny!
by I, Wreckerrr March 17, 2021
Get the Anti-Funnymug.