Aston’s Biggest

Aston’s biggest is quite literally 3.7 tonnes, they not only suffer from chronic obesity but they also suffer from the addiction to discord. Aston’s Biggest could mistake his own fingers for food, as he craves food more than he craves cock, and that is a lot as he is relentless with his desire to rape his own friends. He is 3.7 tonne, which creates more problems than the fact he cannot see his own cock. The “biggest” problem is that he cannot seem to leave his xbox for longer than 3 hours, as the gallons of sweat stick him to his chair for inhuman amounts of time. This leads to issues such as pungent B.O, and greasy, dandruff riddled hair. Due to these obstacles, Aston’s Biggest lack’s interactions with girls. He was rejected by them all, leading to him becoming so down bad he pretended about kissing a drunk girl. He is so heavy, if he was on the submarine he would of survived due to the immense cushioning of his major organs, however his arteries probably only have a few years remaining before they are clogged with 10,000 calories per hour’s worth of fat. The Aston’s biggest is more than likely going to die a virgin, but he got to elite division on fifa so who cares?

“Aston Villa are the fucking best blud kmt g narnie stretchers uno it skidem”
“Shut up you are literally Aston’s biggest pedophile”

by Annoymous112122 June 25, 2023

Aston Tax

A shameless ripoff of the iconic Fanum Tax. Whenever someone buys energy drinks or soda, Aston always taxes it like ex swedish prime minister Stefan Löfven.

Johannes: I just bought me a monster energy drink.

Aston: ASTON TAX!!!!!!!!

Greg: Bruh ima kill Aston if he keeps being a lazy fatass.

by RickBlowbre125 January 16, 2024

aston key

Aston Key is the name of someone who loves touching children.

Child 1: Ahhhhhh get away from me you Aston Key!
Adult: God its an aston key trying to touch my child again!

by jolticz1223 March 16, 2024

ethan aston

the biggest asshole in the world. is a fat cunt only bathes every two weeks and has no friends. everytime he swears in clase he gets away with it because of his "needs" what he dosent have. hes an asshole and trys to act cool

oh look its ethan aston the ahole

by whyhaveabswhenyoucanhavekababs June 6, 2018

dirty aston

Someone by the name of Aston Palmer who has a large cock and loves cars.
Ambitious individual and always gets what he wants.

I was dirty Astonated last night, I still can’t walk, however he picked me up in a lovely MR2.

by Dirty Aston March 30, 2020

beau aston

the man with a huge cock who is funny wears a goofy shirt and is big pimpin from the swamp

he is a beau aston type of guy.

by pseudonymanonymousman May 23, 2009

Macy Aston

Someone who is very obsessed and stalker they are in love with a brec’s son but will never acquire what she needs

That’s dude is such a Macy Aston. He followed you home.

by MACAST June 18, 2019