Turtle Jerk

A turtle jerk is when masturbating (male) sucking a pice of turd in and out of the ass (also known a turtle head!) and realeaseing pice of turd at the same moment as ejaculating.

I had a amazing turtle jerk at work and got paid for it!

by sjh horse March 08, 2011

Turtle helmet

When the end of a poo hangs out your sphincter ("turtle heading" or "touching cloth") for so long that it turns hard and crusty.

I've been touching cloth so long I've got turtle helmet.

by The Bishop Amen July 14, 2008

turtle racing

slang/code for "smoking marijuana".

wanna do some turtle racing after work? i have some really nice purple ones.. heheh

by magnetic August 23, 2006

Stealth Turtle

When you pull a mooney with a turtle head poking out.....and no-one notices.

I was at a party last week and i pulled out a stealth turtle.

by Perrald August 07, 2006

turtle herder

Someone who collects fecal matter.

My sister is such a turtle herder, she's always digging around in that cat box.

by Spinderella cut it up one time October 11, 2007

Mock turtle

A Mock turtle occurs when one has what feels like a poo brewing, and upon trying to defecate finds nought not even or gas.

I felt a huge shit brewing so went and laid a dissappointing mock turtle and I had not even a wiff of gas.

by Athadan October 25, 2009

Turtle-Bitch

A skinny fucker who refuses to get up after sleeping in a turtle formation.

Rosario is a complete Turtle-Bitch! she never wants fucking get up...lazy ass!

by Roselie April 19, 2009