Wank Muffin

1) A juvenile (and British) term for someone who masturbates often.

2) A general derogatory term for someone who is disliked.

3) A delicious muffin product filled with a white and sticky fluid which is being called "semen", produced by the Wank™ Corporation.

1) "Dude, you need to cut down on how much you masturbate, you fuckin' wank muffin."

2) "Shut the hell up, wank muffin."

3) "Wank Muffins. Now with 50% more semen!"

by Meik April 3, 2003

Taking a wank!

Expression used when you don't want to say what you are up to.

Bob: Hello
Jim: Hello
Bob: What are you up to?
Jim: Taking a wank!

by Hello I am Gay February 17, 2007

Womb Wank

Whilst your other half is having a C section to your first born, you slide your penis inside your partners vagina and she proceeds to jerk you off through the C section hole in her stomach.

My wife gave birth to our first born!

Did you receive a womb wank ?

by Mikkydoohan October 25, 2008

Comfort Wank

A Comfort Wank is an act of masturbation carried out by an emotionally stressed 'wanker', in an effort to soothe his woes with cheap sexual thrills. After a Comfort Wank, the said 'wanker' will usually cry himself to sleep.

Jimbo had had a bad day. After drowning his sorrows in a cheap beer at the local pub, he hobbled home, crawled into bed, reached for his vaseline and had a Comfort Wank.

by thehitcher03 August 3, 2009

Spank-Wank

A sad, masturbating, perv who tries to touch every ass he possibly can for pleasure even though he knows he will fail miserably. spanker wanker spank wank perv

1) This total Spank-Wank tried to feel me up at the station I totally cracket his bloody nut!
2) I know it's creepy but Spank-Wanks actually turn me on!

by Waztum October 27, 2008

cunt wank

A rough,one sided act of love between a man and a woman.Notions of foreplay,scented candles and soft music go out the window in favour of a swift,joyless hump.

Pulled this stunner last nite,but I was so coked up I had a quick cunt wank and met up with the lads to go joy ride'in

by shitty Nicko November 25, 2004

wank rag

A rag, usually used after masturbation to clean up the nasties.

Billy, the cat is licking your wank rag again!

by CommunistWithAGun December 29, 2003