Probabilistic Sciences

The umbrella term for all fields of study that have given up on the idea of "facts" and now deal exclusively with "highly probable guesses." It's the scientific method after it's had a few drinks and decided that certainty is overrated. From probabilistic medicine ("These symptoms are probably just allergies, not the plague") to probabilistic meteorology ("There's a 60% chance of rain, which is meteorologist-speak for 'we have absolutely no idea'"), this is the science of keeping your options open.

Probabilistic Sciences Example: "After three different doctors gave him three different opinions, the patient realized he wasn't in the world of hard medical fact. He was a subject of the probabilistic sciences, where his illness was diagnosed as 'most likely something, possibly treatable with something else, maybe.'"

by Dumu The Void February 14, 2026

Sleep Sciences

The broad, interdisciplinary field dedicated to studying the mysterious daily activity where adults try to get 8 hours and usually end up with 4, interrupted by existential dread and a cat sitting on their face. It encompasses everything from the biology of circadian rhythms to the psychology of dreams where you're back in high school, failing a math test you never studied for. Despite the name "science," a significant portion of the research is funded by grants hoping to prove that coffee is an acceptable substitute for rest.

Example: "According to the latest findings in sleep sciences, my habit of falling asleep to true crime podcasts is 'probably not conducive to restful slumber.' They also noted that my sleep score of 42 is 'technically a number.'"

by Dumu The Void February 14, 2026

Sleep Social Sciences

The study of how sleep—or the lack thereof—shapes human societies, relationships, and cultural norms. It examines the unspoken rules of who gets to sleep in (bosses, babies) and who has to wake up early (everyone else). It explores the sociology of the shared bed, the politics of the snooze button, and the economic impact of a nation running on caffeine and spite. It asks the big questions, like: Is "sleeping on it" really a decision-making tool, or just a way to postpone responsibility until you've had coffee?

Example: "A deep dive into sleep social sciences reveals that the phrase 'I'll sleep when I'm dead' is primarily used by overworked millennials as a flex, signaling that they are so busy and important that basic human biology is an inconvenience to their grindset."

by Dumu The Void February 14, 2026

Dream Sciences

The multidisciplinary study of the cinema that plays in your head while you're unconscious, featuring you as the star, director, and bewildered critic. It attempts to answer why you're giving a presentation to an audience of giant chickens, why your teeth are falling out (again), and why your high school crush is there, looking disappointed. Despite decades of research, the primary findings of dream sciences remain: dreams feel longer than they are, and you will always wake up right before the good part.

Example: "According to dream sciences, my recurring nightmare about being chased by a giant rolling cheese wheel suggests I have unresolved anxiety about... something. Probably lactose intolerance. Or debt. The science is unclear."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Dream Social Sciences

The study of how dream societies function, including the unspoken rules of the dream workplace, the politics of dream governments, and the economics of a currency that changes every time you look at it. It explores why your dream friends are always a confusing blend of three different real-life people, why dream restaurants never have menus, and why the dream bus system is both incomprehensible and always late. It concludes that dream societies operate on a logic that is both utterly alien and weirdly familiar, like a foreign film you're pretty sure you've seen before.

Example: "In my dream, I was elected mayor of a town where all the buildings were made of cake. The dream social sciences were fascinating: the cake council was corrupt, the cake citizens were always on the verge of being eaten by birds, and my entire campaign platform was 'better icing.' I woke up before I could be impeached."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Astral Sciences

The rigorous academic discipline dedicated to studying everything that happens when your "astral body" supposedly leaves your physical form to wander the cosmos. It's the field that attempts to map the astral plane, catalog its inhabitants (usually described as "beings of pure light" or "terrifying shadow monsters"), and develop a standardized taxonomy for out-of-body experiences. Unfortunately, peer review in astral sciences is tricky, as replicating the results requires the other scientist to also be asleep or deeply meditating at the exact same time.

Example: "He claimed his astral sciences research had proven the existence of the Akashic Records, a cosmic library of all knowledge. When asked for a source, he said he 'read it on the astral plane last Tuesday.' His paper was rejected."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Astral Social Sciences

The study of the societies, cultures, and power structures that supposedly exist on the astral plane. It seeks to understand the politics of ethereal beings, the economic system of an energy-based reality (do they trade in good vibes?), and the class structure among ascended masters, spirit guides, and that one guy who's just there to show you your past lives. It's a field filled with fascinating theories and a complete and total lack of verifiable data, making it a favorite among creative writing majors.

Example: "Her thesis in astral social sciences explored the hypothesis that the astral plane has a rigid social hierarchy, with 'beings of pure white light' at the top and 'confused, recently deceased people who don't know they're dead' at the bottom. She claimed she learned this from a talking orb named Bartholomew."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026