A person pretending to be a certified shorthand reporter/stenographer/court reporter. They have no education, skills, or abilities to type. They are not qualified to even scope a transcript. They push a button to record what is going on in the room. All attorneys and witnesses think this person is qualified because they pretend to be. They are not qualified to do anything. They cannot read back. They cannot produce a transcript. They cannot type. After the legal proceedings, they outsource the audio tape to India or China and have someone whose second or third language is actually English to transcribe it. However, because they are secretly fooling everyone, they charge the price of an educated, accurate, real shorthand reporter. It is very much questionable whether the transcripts produced are legally certified and can be used to impeach witnesses at trial.
Excuse me, Miss Reporter. I didn’t hear that answer. Can you please read that back?
No, Counsel. I cannot read that back. I am an deposition officer. I can push play on the audio. I have secretly been recording. I’m not actually typing any of this. I’m charging you the same price as though I’m typing, but I’m not. I am merely recording it and making sure the recording is clear so I can send it to someone whose first language is not even English to do the rest for me
No, Counsel. I cannot read that back. I am an deposition officer. I can push play on the audio. I have secretly been recording. I’m not actually typing any of this. I’m charging you the same price as though I’m typing, but I’m not. I am merely recording it and making sure the recording is clear so I can send it to someone whose first language is not even English to do the rest for me
by anonymous December 5, 2024
Get the deposition officermug. Home Office for unemployed people. They are constantly at home, like employees who work in home office.
by Ich bin's..... April 25, 2025
Get the Dole-Officemug. A person pretending to be a certified shorthand reporter/stenographer/court reporter. They have no education, skills, or abilities to type. They are not qualified to even scope a transcript. They push a button to record what is going on in the room. All attorneys and witnesses think this person is qualified because they pretend to be. They are not qualified to do anything. They cannot read back. They cannot produce a transcript. They cannot type. After the legal proceedings, they outsource the audio tape to India or China and have someone whose second or third language is actually English to transcribe it. However, because they are secretly fooling everyone, they charge the price of an educated, accurate, real shorthand reporter. It is very much questionable whether the transcripts produced are legally certified and can be used to impeach witnesses at trial.
Excuse me, Miss Reporter. I didn’t hear that answer. Can you please read that back?
No, Counsel. I cannot read that back. I am an deposition officer. I can push play on the audio. I have secretly been recording. I’m not actually typing any of this. I’m charging you the same price as though I’m typing, but I’m not. I am merely recording it and making sure the recording is clear so I can send it to someone whose first language is not even English to do the rest for me
No, Counsel. I cannot read that back. I am an deposition officer. I can push play on the audio. I have secretly been recording. I’m not actually typing any of this. I’m charging you the same price as though I’m typing, but I’m not. I am merely recording it and making sure the recording is clear so I can send it to someone whose first language is not even English to do the rest for me
by anonymous December 5, 2024
Get the deposition officermug. Officer Safety (noun) – The ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card for law enforcement. It’s the excuse cops use to justify unnecessary aggression or excessive force, even when there’s no real threat. Picture this: you’re already handcuffed on the ground, barely moving, and they still got an arm around your throat, shouting “Officer safety!” as if you’re the dangerous one. It’s less about actual safety and more about flexing power, giving them a free pass for brutality, no matter how much control they already have.
Example 1:
“I was pinned down, cuffed, and they’re still yelling ‘officer safety’ while roughing me up like I’m some kind of threat.”
Example 2:
“I handed over my ID, rolled up my window to wait, and they told me to roll it back down for ‘officer safety.’ Like I’m gonna attack them from inside the car while they’re running my license. All they had to do was write the ticket.”
“I was pinned down, cuffed, and they’re still yelling ‘officer safety’ while roughing me up like I’m some kind of threat.”
Example 2:
“I handed over my ID, rolled up my window to wait, and they told me to roll it back down for ‘officer safety.’ Like I’m gonna attack them from inside the car while they’re running my license. All they had to do was write the ticket.”
by Watchlist Subject 9596690-00 September 15, 2024
Get the Officer Safetymug. by callmecer October 27, 2022
Get the officemug. by Menenjoyer June 17, 2022
Get the Office chickmug. another good guy to be or good to have on your team, he can often deliver in tight or hairy situations, he'll make the call, the decision, the play tht others shy away from cause they are shitless. He doesn't waiver, doesn't bull-shit, says it like it is, a real straight-shooter.
Jackson: I can't believe Jones got away with that from Miller.
Murphy: that's because Miller knows that Jones is the office 2 iron, anybody else would have got fired on the spot for making that comment.
Murphy: that's because Miller knows that Jones is the office 2 iron, anybody else would have got fired on the spot for making that comment.
by lastgreatnobody March 28, 2009
Get the office 2 ironmug.