Simoned

Simoned is the act of bringing your child or your children on a first date or a late night meetup for casual sex.

A Simon is a guy who sees no problem with this.... "I don't care... if a chick's kid is watching us, it's no different than their pets". A true Simon gets down no matter when, where or what. Kids, pets, grandparents, neighbors, they all have no effect on a Simon when he has his laser sights are set on the poon!

Man...I was so Horney the other night...I Simoned this chick at the crack Ambassador Motel on 50. Her 3 yo kid was passed out on the bed next to us. After I finished (about 7 minutes later) I told her I was leaving and she got upset because she came all the way out there and brought her son too, she was like: "I thought we were gonna chill together for a bit".

Simon: "B#@!H This aint no stay-cation....I got what I needed... I'm out"

She got SIMONED 100!!

by Skin Hitter July 10, 2024

The Simon Wilson Paradox

After hearing a detailed and troubling story about another man's struggles with maintaining an erection, he couldn't shake the anxiety it induced. This newfound stress crept into his own intimate moments, creating a vicious cycle of worry and performance issues that left him unable to maintain an erection himself.
Thus creating the Simon Wilson paradox

Last night I was with this girl then I stuffed from the Simon Wilson Paradox.

by Scottith July 15, 2024

Simon lynch

Pub owner from Deeping

Used to be a chef

Simon Lynch serves beer

by anonymous July 26, 2024

Simon

Casually jacks off daily, is also a fucking retard, and can be referred to as a fatass.

Im pulling a Simon today

by Dagisgay April 3, 2025

simon

simon er carls cumslut

hey cumslut, wait oh you mean simon

by smegmaboyyyyyyyyytssotuff April 7, 2025

Simon Cowell

The twat.
I really hate Simon Cowell.

Dude, I fucking hate Simon Cowell.

by SoullessEther May 7, 2025

Poopy, niggling Sam and Simon.

When both parties are feuding over a game that isn't important, yet both parties are screaming at each other because they are blaming the other person. In the shitty game, they are unable to understand when it's their fault, leading to them taking a massive shit and having a aneurysm and dying.

Damn yall niggas needa chill yall boutta have a Poopy, niggling Sam and Simon.

by BigBlackAssNigga May 9, 2025