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Potato Jesus

It is believed that Jesus is a potato. He infact was not human like the bible sugests. Pages were ripped out of the original bible with all of the information and proof that Jesus was a potato. They have been recovered and the pages are believed to be Salt and Vinegar flavoured.

God knew that potato's were a superior species to humans and a perfect vessel for our savior. The human that claimed he was jesus was nailed to a cross for his stupid ideas, the real jesus "Potato Jesus" revived fake jesus being sympathetic to the pathetic human.

Potato Jesus' whereabouts are unknown but philosophers believe he built a Spud bag mothership and ventured onward to the world ruled by potatos and where humans are grown in the ground.
Jesus was a human

No Jesus is a potato. In fact he is Potato Jesus.
by ScurryInertia September 27, 2005
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jesus phone

slang term used for an iPhone
My $600 jesus phone fell out of my pocket.
by Junpei August 3, 2007
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Jesus Ham

The saviour of low-budget, processed meat. Coming soon to a supermarket near you!
Jesus Ham: It's Christ-tastic!
by Biddy March 12, 2005
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Jesus Piss

A term that has no meaning, but is used commonly in a state of anger and frustration. Also has nothing to with Religious beliefs.
"Jesus Piss! Where did that guy come from?"
by The Occational Flame. May 15, 2010
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Jesus Crispy

N. Meant as a derogatory description of fundamentalist Christians espousing "flakey" doctrine. Derived from cereal references. Rice Crispies, Rice Flakes etc.
"I wish that Jesus Crispy would stop trying to convert me."
by dirte13 April 27, 2006
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Jesus Hugger

by Stewie55 April 26, 2011
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Big Jesus

Any van larger than a "soccer mom" car can be called a "big jesus". The term alludes to such 4 row vans used by travelling church groups, which can seat around 8-10 people at maximum capacity. (These types of cars are also often used by campers and carpoolers.)

The term can be used as a size and appearance description with or without implication. A noncommittal use of the term in reference to one's own (or a friend's/family's) car can constitute the term as more of a pet name than sarcastic or mocking. However the term can easily be darkly mocking, mildly to moderately sarcastic and passive aggressive- a common implication being that that the speaker has a dislike or little patience for organized religions and their public visibility of character and/or influence common in areas like the American bible belt.
1: Person A- "Did you get stuck riding in the big jesus to the feild trip?"

Person B- "Ya, I was herded in with a bunch of other people."

2: Person A- "Mom's going to pick us up in big jesus."

Person B- "Ok."

3: (In a parking lot) Person A- "Yikes, look, it's a big jesus."

Person B- "Weirdos, freaks and bigots, oh my!"

Person A- "Hahaha, too true."
by Cheschyr July 13, 2010
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