Couch Creature

A person who spends 95% or more of their time on the couch....They eat on the couch...Sleep on the couch...And play video games either on the Phone or TV ....on the couch...they refuse to use sheets...the fact is the only time one of these people will get up off of the couch is to use the restroom (Hopefully) or to secure food, only to bring it back to the couch to eat it......Showers are very rare and usually in the very early AM hours. Getting rid of one can be tricky and should be well thought out.

Bill: "Dude , Jimmy has been living at our house for 2 weeks since his girl friend tossed him out."
Dude " Yeah and hes starting to smell, hasn't paid for anything, and he hasn't left the house once."
Bill " Left the house, Dude he hasn't gotten off the fucking couch....hes become some sort of Couch Creature.
Dude " I was thinking of lighting the couch on fire to see if he responds."
Bill " Yeah I think its our only hope"

by Stains and Smears May 21, 2019

Couch Callin

Used when someones saying they need to get home to sit on their couch and watch their shows. Basically saying “I need some me time”

Chaz: you trying to hit this party tonight?

Mike: nahh man the couch callin

Chaz: dude you’ve seen the office like thirty times stop being a bitch

by Merle27 February 25, 2019

wank couch

A couch you should never ever sit on. Smells a bit musty and tacky to the touch.

This is the wank couch, I'd sit somewhere else if I were you.

by Camo Clown February 16, 2017

couch beat

Verb. To insert your penis in between two couch cushions, with or without lubrication. Then, you proceed to thrust back and forth in said couch, as if you were fucking a girl. Some people prefer to go raw, or use a sock for easy clean-up!

That guy Frank got a pete burn from couch beat.

by Feetbeater6911 November 17, 2015

Couch boy

A crude caveman like individual that sleeps on parent's couch. A general laziness and indifference to reality. Incompetence of even the simplest ideas

Couch boy was caught again piddling by his parents while searching for memes

by Touchdown Jesus October 6, 2020

Couch pro

Someone who is experienced in spending large amounts of time on the couch. This person typically spends a lot of time watching TV, movies, Netflix, or YouTube, playing video games, or channel surfing, or some combination thereof. Think "couch potato," but with more purpose and intent.

Guy 1: "I heard Joe binged 6 seasons of The Walking Dead last week."
Guy 2: "Yeah, he's a real couch pro."

by Danager1989 April 12, 2017

Couch Tomato

Someone who sits around all day, like a couch potato, but has gained so much weight from doing this, that they can't get up without help from others.

Since Karen lost her job, she has turned into a total couch tomato and doesn't even leave the house anymore.

by TonyaMC419 February 25, 2020