John Gomez Syndrome

An incredibly horrible condition in which you wear suits, discuss politics, and take constant ridicule for being John Gomez. In fact, you probably broke your leg sliding into a fucking base during baseball, and ended up on crutches for all of middle school for being such a fuck-up. John Gomez Syndrome is the equivalent of cancer, but to a more deadly degree.

Dude, why the fuck are you wearing a suit and talking politics?
I've been diagnosed with John Gomez Syndrome
That sucks

by RoxerMan October 24, 2014

John Fitzgerald Kennedy

35th President of the United States. Kennedy served honorably in the Navy during World War 2 and later became a US Senator. He ran for President in 1960, narrowly defeating Vice President Richard Nixon. Kennedy was the first Roman Catholic President, and he was also the youngest man elected president. His presidency was marked by the Cuban Missile Crisis and by strong support for space exploration. Although Kennedy had run on a platform that included racial integration, he was criticized for not pushing the issue strongly enough while President. Kennedy was assassinated on January 22, 1963 in Dallas, Texas. The identity of Kennedy's assassin or assassins has been the source of much speculation. One government investigation found that Lee Harvey Oswald was the lone killer, while another investigation found that Oswald and others had conspired to kill the President. Kennedy's assassination was one of our nation's greatest tragedies. Many remember Jack Kennedy for his inspiring words and for the youthful and exciting atmosphere he brought to the White House.

"Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."
-Jack Kennedy

by Bleurgh Resurgent January 30, 2005

John Dough

A man who is really loaded, aka Johnny Cash, Eddie Money, Dough Boy, Pillsbury. Opposite of Owen Cash.

THUGLY: Why are we following this guy?

MUGLY: We're gonna rob him.

THUGLY: What, is he Johnny Paycheck?

MUGLY: No, he aint some guy who just got paid, in fact, he doesn't even have a job.

THUGLY: So, why would we try to rob some Owen Cash guy?

MUGLY: Because he aint no "Owen Cash", he's "John Dough" -- he's filthy rich. We're gonna jump him, take him to the ATM, and rob him.

John Dough walks to his car. Thugly & Mugly jump out to attack. Floodlights turn on, BullMastiffs come running, and John Dough WresponKiBo's the two idiots. Soon the BullMastiffs have their mouths over the assailants faces, and two armed bodyguards show up.

BG #1: Should I call the police, sir?

John Dough: (holds up cell phone) I already did William.

by Mugly Majors November 22, 2006

John Matrix

An invincible action hero who specializes in kicking ass while tossing out hilarious jokes at the same time. Originated in the 1980's in the film Commando.

He has been called the John Matrix of his day.

by mambaman711 January 3, 2010

John Candy

A great big, huge fat white line, guarenteed to bring a grin to your face.

"Hey Gumbo, I've lined up loads of John Candy's - come and get yours"

by Shoft-Cock October 9, 2011

The John Wilkes Booth

When you sit behind an unsuspecting victim in a theater and jerk off, and at just the right moment, shoot her in the back of the head with your load and run out.

"Bill is a maniac...did you hear he did The John Wilkes Booth to Angela at the IMAX during the premier of Iron Man 3?"

by TheLargeBreast February 20, 2014

pulling a John

The act of beeing concerned by one's own schedule without giving a shit about other people's time.

1. Here he goes pulling a john again, he just asked if we were ready to leave the restaurant when he was the only one done eating.

2. The dumb ass pulled a john again, he called a meeting at 6 a.m. because he wanted to leave early that day.

by Davetheman September 16, 2008