Alaskan Hot Pocket

The glorious act in which one or more persons defecate into a condom, and while holding it from the open end, swings it in a circular motion to ensure that the fecal matter attains the maximum fill capacity of the condom. At this point, the condom containing the feces is placed in a freezer, and is to remain there until the stool filled condom is frozen solid¹. Once completely filled AND frozen, the condom is inserted directly into the vaginal/anal cavity, wasting no time from the point of removal from the freezer, ensuring sheer "Alaskan" authenticity. At this point, the homemade sex toy can be left in the cavity, or inserted and removed continuously, as one would with a dildo. This may take quite some time to prepare indeed, so pre-planning is a must. However, there is nothing preventing the reuse of the "hot pocket."

¹The mean freezing point of human excrement is 14°F, -10°C, 263.2 K

The Night Before:
- Gertrude: I'm feeling saucy, Lionel. What do you say we go for another Hot Carl this evening?
- Lionel: Well Gertrude, that, in addition to a Dirty Gas Pump shall suffice for this evening, but I am midway through finishing that Alaskan Hot Pocket I informed you of over tea this afternoon.
- Gertrude: Ah, yes. I've been thinking about that since the moment you told of such. Tell me dear, when do you believe it will be completed?
- Lionel: I presume by early in the morrow.

Evening of Use:

- Lionel: Dear, are you well ready for that nice, frozen treat.
- Gertrude: Tally-ho! Let's get to work.

**After many sounds of faint moaning, groaning, and pain, both Lionel and Gertrude emerge from the dark corner of the third floor study, only to return the Alaskan Hot Pocket to the freezer.**

by Sir. Nigel Spalding, Esq., IV September 29, 2008

Pocket Muffin

1. A muffin you keep in your pocket when you are leaving the place where you got the muffin.

2. A sex act where by a woman is pleasured by someone sticking their hands in her pocket.

I am glad I took this pocket muffin because I am starving.

I am glad I took part in this pocket muffin because I was board.

by Fatrazmo December 20, 2010

canadien pocketknife

A slang term for a broken bottle when used as a weapon

he grabbed a beer and made a Canadien pocketknife
The canadien pocketknife in my chest hurts

by Alfred S. Sloop January 11, 2007

pocketed

1) The act of dominating someone in a competative activity.
derived from the idea of sybolically placing an inferior opponent into ones pocket or total control. 2) The act of collecting and securing an object. Usually referring to a valuable item such as currency.

1)Yo did you see how Ro pocketed Ant on Madden?... He's still picking lint out of his hair!
2)I pocketed about six bills on the tickets I sold.

by Romaine M. July 14, 2006

Pocket Wank

When one decides to 'bash the bishop' whilst ones hand is in his pocket.

Boy, I had a good pocket wank earlier

by Anonymous September 2, 2003

pocket full of horses

from the song Little Red Corvette by Prince, meaning Trojan condoms

"She had a pocket full of horses, Trojans, some of them used,"

by twtcmaustin October 9, 2007

out of pocket

Out of Pocket is a colloquialism used in the Southern Region of the United States. It is favored by grandparents and great-grandparents. It means to be unreachable in a communication sense. Very common in the days before cell phones.

I'm going into town so I'll be out of pocket until I get back.

Johnny's been out of pocket for a few days. He's in the woods hunting.

by wordfey June 13, 2016