Captain Obvious

A phrase that is used to state that what the other person is saying is obvious.
"Captain Obvious, he's our hero! He's gonna tell you what you already know!"

2 men are walking together outside during the zombie apocolypse. Suddenly, a zombie leaps out of some bushes he was hiding in, and rushes at the 2 men. One of the men takes out a shotgun and blows the guy's head off. The 2 men watch in horror as he collapses to the ground, blood gushing from his neck. "Oh my goodness! I think he's dead!" One of the men say. The other man looks at him and says, "Thanks, Captain Obvious." Frustrated, the first man takes his gun and blows his head off. The second man falls to the ground, blood gushing from his neck. "Oh my goodness! I think he's dead!" The man exclaims.

by ThatPyro September 16, 2015

Beer Captain

In "high level" recreational hockey in Canada the term "Beer Captain" is used to describe an individual of importance or influence on a team. The Beer Captain is both the captain of his respective team (typically commissioned with selecting his squad on a given week) and more importantly - is assigned to pick up the beer.

It's considered one of the highest honors to bestowed on an individual in Canada.

Reg made a rookie mistake by only bringing a dozen when he was selected as Beer Captain

by Lochwood May 12, 2014

vogue captain

Noun; Someone who makes it their job to judge other people's fashion, a person without the skills to tell when not to comment on your poor appearance

The term is jokingly used for self-appointed individuals who criticise the clothing others wear, and thereby those others' fashion sense.

Often used in a joking manner as response to a compliment.

In reference to the fashion magazine, Vogue

"Oh, I look good today? How'd I look yesterday? Did I offend you with my ugliness? How about last week? Did I disgust you? You're such a Vogue Captain. What is wrong with you?"

by wk sun August 25, 2009

Captain Ahab

A man (typically of Arabic descent and low economic status) who participates in sexual relations solely with obese white women.

Why is Hamid Hussain with a 250 pound woman when himself weighs a mere buck one forty?

Well I guess he's a Captain Ahab that can't do better.

by Pickled Embryo June 23, 2022

Captain Universe

A caped crusader known for various tactics of defeating crime, including riding on top of cars (also known as Urban Surfing), and kerb-crawling next to suspicious cyclists. Driving at low speed, the Captain reaches out of his car and produces a playmobil telephone to offer to the cyclist, claiming "It's for you-hooooo!"
If said cyclist answers the phone, or rejects it, the captain will identify their criminality, and speed off into the distance, singing "Caaaaaaaaptain Uuuuuuuuniiiiveeeeeeeeeerssssseee!!!"

This term can be used as a noun to describe the superhero, or as a verb to describe his actions of crime-fighting.

Did you see Captain Universe on Oxford Hight Street last night? He was mental! He nearly Captain Universe'd three cyclists in one go!

by Monty S-B November 26, 2010

Backwards Captain

When engaging in intercourse in the doggie position and just before the man climaxes, he pulls out, grabs the nearby bottle of captain Morgan, & spritzes it on his/her lower back. When the partner turns around to comment/complain, the man ejaculates directly into his/her face. Then he takes a bottle shot of the Captain and then proceeds to hit his partner in the face with said bottle.

Joshua: I gave Sheila the backwards captain last week. I haven't heard from her since.

by baconlynn August 22, 2016

Snack Captain

The person on he road trip in charge of snacks

Ellen is the best snack captain, she packed subs for lunch, almonds, and ice tea.

by JulieDonair July 15, 2022