Jesus Ham

The saviour of low-budget, processed meat. Coming soon to a supermarket near you!
Jesus Ham: It's Christ-tastic!
by Biddy March 12, 2005
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Jesus Piss

A term that has no meaning, but is used commonly in a state of anger and frustration. Also has nothing to with Religious beliefs.
"Jesus Piss! Where did that guy come from?"
by The Occational Flame. May 15, 2010
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Jesus Crispy

N. Meant as a derogatory description of fundamentalist Christians espousing "flakey" doctrine. Derived from cereal references. Rice Crispies, Rice Flakes etc.
"I wish that Jesus Crispy would stop trying to convert me."
by dirte13 April 12, 2006
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Big Jesus

Any van larger than a "soccer mom" car can be called a "big jesus". The term alludes to such 4 row vans used by travelling church groups, which can seat around 8-10 people at maximum capacity. (These types of cars are also often used by campers and carpoolers.)

The term can be used as a size and appearance description with or without implication. A noncommittal use of the term in reference to one's own (or a friend's/family's) car can constitute the term as more of a pet name than sarcastic or mocking. However the term can easily be darkly mocking, mildly to moderately sarcastic and passive aggressive- a common implication being that that the speaker has a dislike or little patience for organized religions and their public visibility of character and/or influence common in areas like the American bible belt.
1: Person A- "Did you get stuck riding in the big jesus to the feild trip?"

Person B- "Ya, I was herded in with a bunch of other people."

2: Person A- "Mom's going to pick us up in big jesus."

Person B- "Ok."

3: (In a parking lot) Person A- "Yikes, look, it's a big jesus."

Person B- "Weirdos, freaks and bigots, oh my!"

Person A- "Hahaha, too true."
by Cheschyr July 13, 2010
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Jesus Smuggling

When a person of the Christian faith takes a rational approach to a topic of discussion, and then reveals that their true intention was to bring Jesus in the back door of the conversation without anyone noticing until it's too late.
Tom pre-wrapped Jesus in a robe of logic before stepping forward and entering the conversation with Sammy and Mandy, look at all these facts Tom exclaimed peeling back the layers, Sammy and Mandy reviled in Tom's logic and drank in the refreshing ideas he had. Then as quick as a fiddle Tom unveiled his true intentions, bringing Jesus into the conversation! "Ahh your a damn Jesus Smuggler!" Sammy exclaimed, Mandy shook her head, she didn't like Jesus Smuggling. But it was too late and the damage was done, they had listened to his reasoning and the seed was sown in their mind.
by Tybaltdavies July 22, 2019
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Sneaky Jesus

1) Technique used by popular Christian bands to 'sneak' Jesus or religious themes into their music.

2) The act of stealthily slipping a crucifix into the anus of one's partner during sexual intimacy.
Don't trust Keaton, he'll give you a Sneaky Jesus when you're not lookin'.
by Sarah, Liz, Mike January 03, 2006
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