Battle-Jesus is the modernized savior from old. This version of Jesus tots a handgun, and tots an Uzi. Instead of the peaceful all-loving savior we are used to knowing, Battle-Jesus faces you with fire and brimestone. Destroying the sinners, and cleansing the world of all evil. This meaning that only hippies will be left, because they just sit around and smoke dope, and love the trees. And the bible aint saying nothin bout tree-sex.
Though, there have been, of course, varied versions of Battle-Jesus made throughout the course of history. Most notabley, a GI Joe Jesus figure.
Though, there have been, of course, varied versions of Battle-Jesus made throughout the course of history. Most notabley, a GI Joe Jesus figure.
Battle-Jesus!
Battle-Jesus is here.
Battle-Jesus!
Sinners cower in fear.
Battle-Jesus!
Armageddon on your Doorstep.
Battle-Jesus!
Death 'til only hippies are left.
Battle-Jesus!
Battle-Jesus is here.
Battle-Jesus!
Sinners cower in fear.
Battle-Jesus!
Armageddon on your Doorstep.
Battle-Jesus!
Death 'til only hippies are left.
Battle-Jesus!
by Battle-Jesus January 27, 2007
It is believed that Jesus is a potato. He infact was not human like the bible sugests. Pages were ripped out of the original bible with all of the information and proof that Jesus was a potato. They have been recovered and the pages are believed to be Salt and Vinegar flavoured.
God knew that potato's were a superior species to humans and a perfect vessel for our savior. The human that claimed he was jesus was nailed to a cross for his stupid ideas, the real jesus "Potato Jesus" revived fake jesus being sympathetic to the pathetic human.
Potato Jesus' whereabouts are unknown but philosophers believe he built a Spud bag mothership and ventured onward to the world ruled by potatos and where humans are grown in the ground.
God knew that potato's were a superior species to humans and a perfect vessel for our savior. The human that claimed he was jesus was nailed to a cross for his stupid ideas, the real jesus "Potato Jesus" revived fake jesus being sympathetic to the pathetic human.
Potato Jesus' whereabouts are unknown but philosophers believe he built a Spud bag mothership and ventured onward to the world ruled by potatos and where humans are grown in the ground.
by ScurryInertia September 28, 2005
by Junpei July 28, 2007
Jesus Ham: It's Christ-tastic!
by Biddy March 12, 2005
A term that has no meaning, but is used commonly in a state of anger and frustration. Also has nothing to with Religious beliefs.
by The Occational Flame. May 15, 2010
N. Meant as a derogatory description of fundamentalist Christians espousing "flakey" doctrine. Derived from cereal references. Rice Crispies, Rice Flakes etc.
by dirte13 April 12, 2006
When a person of the Christian faith takes a rational approach to a topic of discussion, and then reveals that their true intention was to bring Jesus in the back door of the conversation without anyone noticing until it's too late.
Tom pre-wrapped Jesus in a robe of logic before stepping forward and entering the conversation with Sammy and Mandy, look at all these facts Tom exclaimed peeling back the layers, Sammy and Mandy reviled in Tom's logic and drank in the refreshing ideas he had. Then as quick as a fiddle Tom unveiled his true intentions, bringing Jesus into the conversation! "Ahh your a damn Jesus Smuggler!" Sammy exclaimed, Mandy shook her head, she didn't like Jesus Smuggling. But it was too late and the damage was done, they had listened to his reasoning and the seed was sown in their mind.
by Tybaltdavies July 22, 2019