couch potato

Someone with lack of eager or energy to do a certain task

hey juan you are couch potato

by mexic.. November 23, 2018

couch titties

Slang term for a crazy, dusty bitch

I don’t even know how to help that woman anymore. Cant teach her nothing. Fucking couch titties.

by purpleHEW February 14, 2024

Fucked the Couch

When you fail at a big opportunity, because going offline and talking to normal people exposes how weird and extreme your politics are. Similar to "showed my power level."

"He was up for the position, but he started talking about how women are the property of their husbands, and should get married at age fifteen. They really fucked the couch when they hired him."

by JSpaulding August 10, 2024

couch dolphin

1. (noun) A colloquial name for the Indo-Appalachian right-finned porpoise, usually found gesticulating betwixt couch cushions very racistly. Swims to the very far right and has a parasitic relationship with the “greatest” and whitest of sharks, when convenient.

2. (noun) A person who has intimate relations with an upholstered sitting apparatus, while they are watching p0rnpoise, because the concept of true human connection perplexes them.

Well… that Jim Dave Vance fellow turned out to be a real, self-described couch dolphin. Yikes. Is this why Cleveland had to get rid of Sea World?

by Judith Jetson Lightyear July 27, 2024

Loser Couch

A couch in which the losers at -insert video game you're playing here- are forced to sit while they wait to rejoin the next round of said game.

Lizzy, You are playing like you should be sitting on the loser couch with Blake!

by MoronicMaureen December 24, 2009

Couch Fucker

A European or other nationality male that dates an American Female, since the word Amerykanka in many languages also means couch, like an American woman, a couch, just fuck n sits there!

Guy - Dude, what are you doing with that Amerikanka?

Dude - Dude! She's my girlfriend, she's hot! I love her!
Guy -

Dude - What?!
Guy -

Dude - ?WHAT!
Guy - Couch Fucker, we are ashamed of you
Dude - Aw, Dude
Guy - Dude yourself, and you can't sit on my couch, you have to sit on the floor from now on

by Comrade Plasternasty July 6, 2012

couch guru

A couch guru is an individual who lives on your couch and provides nuggets of wisdom, advice, and the dankest weed hook-ups. The couch guru sustains themselves by consuming Mountain Dew, Doritos and porn. Example: the guy on the couch from Half Baked.

My couch guru hooked me up with a new water bong and advised me on how to fix my relationship with my father.

by Colberttoldmeto August 23, 2016