Fuck me sideways with a monkey wrench 

Its just an exclamtion..either of surprise, horror, disgust, dismay...

Person 1: still another forty minutes of this boring lesson

Person 2: Aaah..fuck me sideways with a monkey wrench!

Fuck me sideways with a monkey wrench by The Wild Child January 4, 2008

Go fuck yourself with a rusty screwdriver 

How to say "go fuck yourself" but getting a better reaction out of the person and people around you. Unlike "go fuck yourself" Go fuck yourself with a screwdriver MUST be yelled as loudly as possible, even in a public place, no exceptions. This phrase may be used at any time, even when "go fuck yourself" normally wouldn't be used.

person1: So, I was thinking we could go out today an-
person2: GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A RUSTY SCREWDRIVER!
everybody around them: 0_0
person1:0_0 dude wtf

Go fuck yourself with a rusty screwdriver by JerZeyCJ March 2, 2011

fuck me gently with a chainsaw 

a sarcastic term implying "what a load of crap"
or, "bullshit". can also be used as a expression of anger.

: hilary, i did NOT have sex with that woman...
: um... fuck me gently with a chainsaw, bill.

or...

: how was that test?
: fuck me gently with a chainsaw, mike.

fuck me gently with a chainsaw by Qwerty April 19, 2004

fuck me sideways with a spoon 

An exclamation used when things are completely screwed, or to express surprise at something.

Staff member: Dude, the fryers are on fire.
Manager: Oh fuck me sideways with a spoon!!

Boy: I have herpes.
Girl: Oh fuck me sideways with a spoon!!
Boy: I'll have to from now on ...

fuck me sideways with a spoon by Scutha January 18, 2008

fuck her like a porn star 

I girl you find physically attractive, but you want no relationship with what so ever. To have sex with and nothing more.

Guy 1: "So how'd you like her?"
Guy 2: "Yeah she seemed nice and all but with a body like that I'd rather just fuck her like a porn star and go our separate ways."

fuck her like a porn star by Vazh May 23, 2007

how the fuck would i even fuck you- shove a vibrator up your ass? 

The last thing LxmonPeyton said in a snapchat roleplay

"how the fuck would i even fuck you- shove a vibrator up your ass?" -LxmonPeyton

how the fuck would i even fuck you- shove a vibrator up your ass? by LxmonSage July 3, 2021

Fuck me with a frosty mop 

An expletive used to convey anger about something or someone.

What d'ya mean I've GOT to do it? Well you can fuck me with a frosty mop!

Fuck me with a frosty mop by morphinemitt April 28, 2008