Hurty Turds

Noun: Can denote a case of extreme constipation, but also a case of diarrhea, in which one has shat so much that the rectal area becomes irritated. Can also be used when one has consumed extremely spicy foods, causing the fecal matter to be spicy itself, and burn the anus as it exits, or large amounts of dairy product, such as cheese. Basically, any bowel movement that causes discomfort or pain.

Jeez, I really love that curry chicken my coworker made, but it gave me a raging case of the hurty turds.

That hurty turd was so damned big, I thought I was gonna have to have an episiotomy!!!! I was in the corner like Rocky, screaming "Cut me, Mick!!!!"

by Gunslinger19405 December 3, 2011

turd kicker

someone you work with who just kicks the "turd" and doesn't respond to emails, answers questions or does their job. They just "kick turds" all day.

Man - I emailed Kaicee a week ago to ask him a simple question and he still hasn't responded. He is such a turd kicker!

by phoenixgirl June 5, 2014

turd growl

when you take a poo and your butt hole growls louder than your girlfriend screaming in the bedroom.

a guy: "DUDE, did you hear that turd growl?!"
me: "Ew, yeah it woke up my baby sister.."

by ilikeyoualotweinerlickingshit July 31, 2009

Turd Walk

The weird wobbling walk one makes when they have to drop a deuce really bad to avoid shitting themselves.

Jim - Why the fuck is Steve you walking like a fairy?
Bob - I'm not sure, I think he's doing the Turd Walk

by zaq101 September 9, 2006

Turd assault

A turd assault is when you go to take a crap, but all that comes out are turds. There is an absence of any long pieces of poop, and only short, round turds are present. Usually dissapointing for any male to experience.

My last toilet visit was just a turd assault. What a rip...

by WhiteyMcWhitster July 4, 2006

Bump on a Turd

Something or someone that is utterly and completely useless.

Josh is a bump on a turd so just ignore him.

by plaid333 November 7, 2007

turd-flop

hairstyle in which all of the hair on the head is gathered in a ponytail, folded in half to make a pseudo-bun, and tied with a hair band.

Your hair is going to get stuck in the roller coaster, put it in a turd-flop.

by dennierich July 22, 2011