Office Napper

An employee at a company that has the ability to sleep while holding up a paper and pin in one hand with out anyone knowing to make it seem as if they are working until the moment the pin drops and hits the floor to wake them up!

Elmore: John's so quite today hard at work!
Steve: Who John the Office Napper!

by sTxLaTiNo May 29, 2011

office shiv

A shiv in an office. Some people call it a letter opener, but that's ridiculous. I mean, it's shaped just like a shiv. That thing would totally be useful in jail.

Hey man, Janet's being such a bitch. Do you have an office shiv that I can use to put her in her place?

by Nim M. Strade April 21, 2014

Office Coffee

Generic term justifying terrible-tasting coffee. Common flavor characteristics include: Burnt, Diluted, Stale, Muddy-water etc.

"Who put Bertha in charge of making the coffee in the morning? It tastes like swamp water."
"What do you expect? It's just Office Coffee."

by Reemster October 3, 2014

official meaning

A savvy person's correct interpretation of what a two-faced public OFFICIAL (policeman, politician, etc) truly MEANS by a seemingly harmless/helpful/conciliatory remark.

Hall monitor, to delinquent student whom he is chasing: "I just want to talk to you."
"Official" meaning (what "The Book" states that the security guard supposedly means): "I'm not going to detain or even lay a hand on you --- I merely wish to verbally ask you what your issues are, sympathetically discuss them with you, and try to help you find a solution that will be palatable to all concerned parties."
Official meaning (what the dude with the badge is really saying): "You're in big trouble, kid --- I don't give a rat's ass what you say or how innocent you are; I'm gonna slap da cuffs on you and put you in detention! It's how I get my rocks off."

Delinquency-hearing board-member, to an under-review adolescent who is peering uncertainly around the meeting-room door: "Come on in and sit down, young man --- we don't bite."
"Official" meaning: "You have noithng to fear from us, son --- we're totally fair and just, and we only wish to hear your case and decide appropriate discipline, if any."
Official meaning: "We fat cats around this table are all in cahoots, and we enjoy makiing things warm for 'unpopular' youngsters like you. We practically have the power of life or death over you, and we gleefully use that power, too."

by QuacksO January 26, 2015

officerette

Female officer

She is an officer.
No she is an officerette! officer-ette

by Direx February 22, 2015

Officially Beefing

When you are mad at a person you normally consider a friend.

"Me and my hommie Pablo are officially beefing!"

"I found out Pablo tried to hit on my girfriend. Now we are officially beefing!"

by cerebro March 31, 2015

Office Feeder

A colleague, usually overweight, who brings in unhealthy, sugary food to the office for others to enjoy. Psychologists believe this is done because the gift of giving to others eases the person's guilt of eating in conflict with his or her own beliefs from a health standpoint.

Because DeShaun brought donuts into the office AGAIN, he is an office feeder.

DeShaun: in an email: "Donuts are at my desk"
Jimbo: "Yo man, I'm trying to lose weight. Why you gotta be an office feeder."

by Marquan1984 September 17, 2015