jesus flip

v. to lose control, flip over tables and go on a angry rampage.

The word is derived from the story of Jesus in Mark 11:15-18, where he found people doing business in the temple and started overturning tables an seats of the people, driving them out.

That final change the client requested made him do a jesus flip.

by Zormal August 12, 2011

fix it jesus

when someone is doing something so shameful/extra that you need Jesus to fix it for you because it has become too much. or when something foul has happened and only Jesus can help. made famous by Phaedra Parks from the real housewives of Atlanta.

teacher: "I'm assigning you an essay and a project due the day you come back from winter break"
me: "fix it Jesus

or
person #1: "this guy in my class who I've never talked to before just came up to me and told me my mom was a MILF!
person #2: fix it jesus, that is so strange!

by poopemoji January 13, 2016

Jacked Jesus

Jacked Jesus is like Jesus but is short and stronger around the height of 5'3, if he flexes on you, you will disappear into dust in an instant, like being thanosed, he is too strong some people say but they are right!

Jacked Jesus: *Flexes*
You: *Disappears*

by The Priest Logan December 10, 2019

Jesus syndrome

The combination of complexes and dogmatic teachings that create a pathetic personality process that makes the person feel they are 'Jesus like' in the way the world should view them and as they view themselves.

My roomate seems to have fallen into a Jesus syndrome. He feels the need to try to cure the world's ill, right the wrongs that people do unto others while rarely seeing his own passive-egotistic, funky-underwear-on-the floor faults that need corrected.

by Chasman January 8, 2007

Jesus Nut

There are a number of different meanings for Jesus Nut among the commonest are:-

a) In US Army slang, to describe something or someone vitally important to an enterprise. Said to come from the mythical Jesus nut that, supposedly, holds on a helicopter’s rotors.
b) In US Army slang, as a term of contempt for someone with an over-inflated opinion of themselves.
c) An overenthusiastic Christian.

a) Jonesie's workin' on the radio again.
Yeah! He knows it's the goddam Jesus Nut when we're on patrol tomorrow.
b) Look at that STRAC REMF struttin' round. Who's he think he is, Jesus Nut to the whole goddam war?
c) That padre is a real Jesus Nut!

by Croatalin December 6, 2013

Jesus Quintana

An eccentric character from the film "The Big Lebowski", who competes against the protagonists in a bowling league. He is typically shown wearing a distinctive purple jumpsuit and licking bowling balls. Described by Walter Sobchak as "A sex offender, with a record! He did 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an 8 year old. When he moved to Hollywood, he had to go door-to-door to tell everyone he was a pederast."

You said it man! Nobody fucks with the Jesus. ~ Jesus Quintana regarding himself.

by thedudeabides March 5, 2012

Jesus Republican

n. & a. 1. n. A conservative christian who believes there is one way, the right way; believes that certain behaviors or choices are unsound; sees no contradiction in their choices as they are founded in scripture. 2. a. A negative term used to describe someone who sees everything in black and white and doesn't mind pushing their agenda on anyone who opposes their paradigm.

He's such a Jesus Republican, he's always going on about how evil abortion is, but he supports the war on Iraq and thinks the death penalty is a good thing. I thought the taking of life was immoral?

by Lazarus 01 February 24, 2009