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Calendar Lockout

When you forget to buy a calendar in the beginning of the year, you realize it months later, and you are too poor, dumb or lazy to buy a new one.
Oh shit it's may, and I didn't buy a calendar, no way Im spending that money now. This is bullshit.

I guess you had a calendar lockout this year
by Swagglord August 11, 2012
mugGet the Calendar Lockoutmug.

calendarize

In basketball, when one player dunks on another so many times that a calendar could be created consisting of dunk photos.

Getting dunked on one time is getting posterized, but getting dunked on many times is getting calendarized.
That was the definition of calendarize last night. Blake Griffin calenderized Aron Baynes in game 1. Poor guy was getting thrown down on every time he looked up.
by buster chestnutz April 20, 2015
mugGet the calendarizemug.

Calendar

How about bring out a calendar.
Hey Urbie how about create a calendar.
Yeah I'd buy one!
by Don't you know who I am December 8, 2023
mugGet the Calendarmug.

Tinder Advent Calendar

Swiping psychotically through Tinder after dinner each night of the holidays to kill time and ensure matches.

Alone in quarantine or bored stiff on their parents' couch, young singles everywhere swipe to the end of their daily allowance, reaping a heinous daily match with a past-prime hometown hottie, or the waiter from the cafe downstairs you've never seen with his mask off. Tinder Advent Calendar matches offer all the short-lived indulgence of the advent chocolates of childhood, but with the added risk of a dick pic.
Harriet's Tinder Advent Calendar currently features Abs Joe from Chem, now a year-round receptionist, and Cute Window Guy who makes ugly infographics on his Instagram.
by daltonjfk December 17, 2020
mugGet the Tinder Advent Calendarmug.

Jackson Calendar

A calendar that includes June 31st instead of July 1st and goes straight to July 2nd just in case you failed No Jerk July on the first day like Jackson
That freaking gooner had to use the Jackson Calendar
by TheStupendousOne July 2, 2025
mugGet the Jackson Calendarmug.

Jackson Calendar

A calendar that completely skips over July 1st and has June 32nd instead to avoid failing No Jerk July on the first day
Maddox failed bro he had to use the Jackson Calendar
by TheStupendousOne July 2, 2025
mugGet the Jackson Calendarmug.

Door-to-Door Calendar Salesman

Initially created to avoid having to say the term "groomer" (or relative terms such as "grooming") aloud when in the company of people, or in a place where you'd rather not have people hear you talking of such a topic. Especially when it comes to discussing the topic to someone who is easily triggered by the initial subject.
"Door-to-Door Calendar Salesman" is a code-term to use in place of a "child groomer."

"Selling calendars" means to commit the act of grooming.
"Going door to door" means they're searching for minors to groom.
"Asking a minor for calendars or photos of their calendars" means they're asking a minor for illegal sexual favours, or for sexually explicit photos of said minor.

Person A: "Have you heard that Onision has been going door to door and selling calendars?"
Person B: "What the fuck is up with that? Selling calendars...He should go to prison for it."
by horsehorsehorse December 25, 2021
mugGet the Door-to-Door Calendar Salesmanmug.

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