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Bedside Baptist

The church you go to when you decide to sleep in.
"Hey Mary did you go to church today?"
No, I took a little trip to Bedside Baptist"
by MsDghtry14 May 9, 2010
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baptist

The reason I have to drive 30 miles to buy liquor. Also the reason I can't buy liquor on Sundays.
I'd love to live in a city not run by Baptists so that I don't have to drive to the ghetto to buy liquor.
by floodland January 11, 2007
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baptist preemie

when the conception is premature, rather than the birth.
Sarah Palin's son Track just had a child three months after the wedding; must be a baptist preemie.
by BJ33196 August 22, 2011
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Landover Baptist Church

A fictional church located in the fictional universe of Freehold, Iowa; its website was created by Chris Harper and Paul A. Bradley as parody of Fundamentalist christianity; the website is known for it's satirical views on religion, christianity, and the Bible. Some people actually take it seriously, but it is purely satire.
Person A: "Hey did you read this Christian website?"
Person B: "No, what does it say?"
Person A: "It says that homosexuals have long hair."
Person B: "Didn't Jesus have long hair?"
Person A: "That's the thing: it says when Jesus accepted himself as Lord and Savior that the Holy Spirit whispered in his ear for him to get a hair cut."
Person B: "What, that's absurd! "
Person C: "Yeah, kinda sounds like Landover Baptist Church and its black propaganda."
by Estelwen June 3, 2014
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Baptist passion check

This is a subtle touching of a guy's crotch area to see whether he is beginning to have an erection. The plan is that, if he is, to stop the deep kissing or making out.
Anne stopped Tom in mid-kiss after he failed the Baptist passion check.
by banana oil October 18, 2010
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Southern Baptist

Currently, the largest protestant denomination. They believe the following:

1.The scriptures (Bible) are the inerrant Word of God.

2.Trinity (ONE God in 3 persons, who are God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit)

3.Salvation is by grace alone. (You cannot work your way to heaven)

4.Once Saved Always Saved (That is, you cannot lose your salvation)

5.Man's nature is sinful.

6.Baptism by immersion. Baptism is a picture of your salvation and it does not save you.

Well, those are some of the basic fundamental beliefs that Southern Baptists have.
Southern Baptists go by what the Bible says alone.
by JohnJohn1186 November 5, 2004
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Free Will Baptist Church

A church that believes one can walk away from their salvation. Freewill Baptists are contrary to Baptists in this regard as Baptists believe once one has been saved, they are always saved.
The National Association of Free Will Baptists have over 2,400 churches in 42 states and 14 foreign countries. Free Will Baptist Churches are conservative.
by Perk25 January 6, 2006
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