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Viking Funeral

1. n. The practice of sending your non-functional electronics to the afterlife.

Honorable dead electronics can go to Valhalla if sent properly. In order to send your honorable dead to Valhalla, you must:

1.) place dead electronics in a boat
2.) set the boat on fire
3.) let it drift out on a body of water.

The higher the esteem for your dead device, the more peripherals and accessories you include in the boat so that it may have the same status, functionality, esteem and quality of life in the afterlife. Besides, manufacturers usually don't make the same connectors on different devices.

Just like Wall St., the real skill in this practice is to avoid a criminal record. Fire fighters and police officers are usually unfamiliar with this practice and will treat it with extreme skepticism or prejudice.
1) When I stopped drooling into my Mac Airbook, I realized it would no longer work. Since I love my Mac so much, I went to a near by lake to give it a Viking funeral.

2) I am on probation for a Viking funeral after sending my Super Nintendo to Valhalla after 14 years of glorious service. R.I.P., SNES
by Halvar the Red February 28, 2009
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Viking Table

A meeting of men, specifically for the purpose of honoring manly things. The meeting often involves alcohol, cigars and manly foods (chicken wings or a pig on a spit would fit nicely). Discussions cover such subjects as beer, women, vehicles, weight lifting, bodily noises and sports. Viking table meetings are often celebratory in nature, but may occur at any interval.

Women may approach the Viking Table... they may bring fresh beverages and food, but consensus of the group is needed in order for a woman to sit at the Viking Table. Even then, membership is not implied... it is an exception only.

Ideally (although not necessarily), meetings of the Viking Table occur around a large, sturdy wooden table that is able to withstand limitless slamming of fists, beer mugs, etc.
Bob's divorce is final... call the guys; we need to summon a meeting of the Viking Table
by rabidraptor January 18, 2010
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viking woman

the kind of chick that wears shit from good-will on purpose, but still looks good. might do drugs or drink, out on cloud 9 sometimes. you can sit and play video games with her all afternoon or watch old kung fu and shitty horror with. into some philosophical stuff. smart. tomboyish but not in the dikey way. down for anything, not all girly and scared of bugs and shit. doesn't mind if you still hang out with the homies. don't let her go.
Bill - Yeah, my girlfriend came over last night, we watched Black Belt Jones and ate Taco Bell.
Tim - She's a fucking viking woman dood.
Bill - For real man.
by blemphicle December 5, 2007
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viking river cruise

When a Scandinavian prostitute urinates on you whilst fully inserted during intercourse
I can't believe the mess I left behind in that Amsterdam hotel room after I took Viking River Cruises all night long
by HansGreub3r November 1, 2015
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Viking Bronze Hammer

When a bag (of any sort) is shat in. The bag will then become a "Viking Bronze Hammer" when it is used as a blunt weapon over the head of any foe, until it ruptures, covering said foe in feces.
Bitch stole my monies, so I gave her a Viking Bronze Hammer and kicked her down the stairs, compound fracturing her femur in eight places.
by St. Bootsy Collins January 9, 2007
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Viking Metal

A subgenre of death metal with strong roots in Scandinavian countries such as Norway and Finland. It is similar to folk metal in the aspect that it heavily utilizes melody combined with instruments such as the accordion, panflute and harp, along with deep operatic backing vocals to achieve a medieval atmosphere. Lyrical content deals with Viking culture and a Norse outlook - the belief that the only way to gain passage into Valhalla in Asgard is to die in a grand battle or adventure. It also shares subject matter with power metal, in that it deals with legend-esque things like warriors and dragons. Adversely it can be seen as power metal's opposite, as power metal deals with knights and heroes using neo-classical undertones where the protagonists of viking metal are swarthy and violent, almost barbaric.
Though viking metal is dark and grave in nature much like black metal, artists and fans of this genre tend to have a positive outlook - unlike screamo and gothicism, it's not themselves they hate, but everyone else.
Some good viking metal and folk metal bands include Ensiferum, Bathory, Amon Amarth, Folkearth and Finntroll.
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Viking Ship

A circle of 8 or more performing the Dutch Rudder on one another.
The party was a sausage fest so we circled up and got on the Viking Ship
by Deuce360 October 25, 2009
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