Calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone

The act of clinging to a toilet basin throwing up violently after a heavy night of binge drinking.

So named after the fashion of sticking your head into the bowl and shouting the name of our Lord between spasms.

BLEURGH!!! Oh Jesus, BLEEEHHRRRK!!! Oh Lord, BLOOOORGH!!!! Aw Christ, HUUUUUEEEEEEERRRRGH!!!!! etc

by ..WiL May 24, 2005

Neon Telephone

When a famous musician writes a song for your band, but it's a terrible song — a la Prince's "Neon Telephone" for the Three O'Clock.

"I thought we'd be famous, but we got a Neon Telephone."

by Mudd Flaps June 28, 2013

Touch Tone Telephone

one of the greatest song ever and may as well be a love song

"cause you're the only person in the world who understands"
you can't tell me Touch Tone Telephone isn't gay

by raybeez May 15, 2022

Birmingham Telephone Call

When you insert a cell-phone set to vibrate into a woman's vagina and then call her number.

No vibrator? A Birmingham telephone call will do.

by Antonymous1234143 April 10, 2010

Tucker telephone

A Tucker Telephone is a torture device invented in Tucker State Prison in Arkansas, using the magneto from an old hand-crank telephone. The ground wire was attached to the big toe, the hot wire to the genitals, and crank away. A "long distance call" was an extended series of shocks. The scene depicted in the movie "Brubaker" was a good portrayal of the real practice. "Brubaker" was a realistic portrayal of life in Cummins and Tucker Prison Farms in Arkansas until the prison reforms of Gov. Winthrop Rockefeller. A variation of the Tucker Telephone was used an an interrogation tool in Viet Nam and Abu Graib using stripped-down field telephones. It is still commonly used all over the world.

"Hey, Merle! Prisoner 1531142 jest threw poop on a guard. Let's let him Phone Home on the Tucker Telephone!"

by davidebert March 23, 2008

Dusty Telephone

A booty call with a person is over the age of 65.

12pm and my dusty telephone rings.

by Innabus June 27, 2010

cellular telephone

an ancient device used by the Natives as a sundial to keep track of time.

Jack:I used the cellular telephone to determine the time. It was 10:30 P.M

Jill: Its 4:30 P.M u moron

Nigahiga: he was off by about 6 hours.

by lunchboxes4life September 30, 2011