my ass magnet

When your ass is attached to a piece of furniture or you are just sitting on your ass

I turned my ass magnet on and now I can’t get up

my ass magnet by dgrigg21 December 6, 2022

My Ass Is On Fire 

Impotence
Boomerang
I'll stab you (I'll stab you, stab you)
Clumps of hair in the sink
Who's hiding things from me?

You knew all along, god damn it
But you wouldn't tell me
Well, look at you now

It's not funny, my ass is on fire
Paraplegic, inhuman liar

Carve a smile on your face
Everything's great, suffocate

Fuck, what you looking at fuck?
What you looking at fuck?
Don't you fucking look at me
Don't you fucking look at me
Don't you fucking look at me
It's beyond my control, it's beyond my control
It's beyond, oh, I'm coming

It's not funny, my ass is on fire
Paraplegic, inhuman liar

Boo
Boo

Redundant, redundant, redundant, redundant
Redundant, redundant, redundant, redundant
Redundant, redundant, redundant, redundant
Redundant, redundant, redundant, redundant
Redundant, redundant, redundant, redundant
Redundant, redundant, redundant, redundant
Redundant, redundant, redundant, redundant
Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring

Excuse me, I am lost, please help me
对不起，我迷路了，请帮忙

Will there be anything else, Mister Bungle?
No, that's fine Carl, thank you
So you see Mister Bungle, Dylan's fucking up your whole campaign
He's totally incompetent, Sleeper-X commercials
Will be laughed off of television if you approve his campaign

Well, that's very interesting
I never thought too much of Dylan, now that you mention it
And I'm starting my own agency Mister Bungle
I could do a hundred percent better job than that turkey
I'll bet you could, what you say is very interesting
In fact, you're very interesting

Oh, Mister Bungle, I didn't know you were interested
And you will give me your account for my new agency?
Later honey, we'll talk business later
Right now I want to make love to your beautiful, beautiful body, ah

My Ass Is On Fire by Gothic Miscreant October 21, 2023

MY ASS IS SCRATCHY 

FUCKING HELP

IT WONT DAMN STOP MY ASS IS SCRATCHY AND IM DIEING HELP

MY ASS IS SCRATCHY by opopopopo-opijyhu December 23, 2023

I'd Rather Shove Wasps Up My Ass 

Yorkshire Sarcastic Reply.
The response given when asked to do something you can't be fucked doing.

Bobby: Dave, make us a brew
Dave: Nah, I'd rather shove wasps up my ass than make you a fucking brew.

I'd Rather Shove Wasps Up My Ass by Greg_the_Smeg February 6, 2019

Clog my ass 

Exclamation of surprise, amazement or frustation. Similar in usage to Aussie "Fuck me dead"

I finally passed my finals...Clog my ass that is awesome!

Clog my ass, I've just missed my train!

Clog my ass by HansSausage August 10, 2020

look at my ass 

Another way of saying "I'll tell you what"

Look at my ass, I'll give it to you for a hundred bucks

look at my ass by PersonGettingOlder July 31, 2023

Riding my ass 

The experience of having a person, most likely driving a large truck or SUV with their high beams on, tailgating you at night when you are clearly exceeding the posted speed limit.

Dude, this chode was riding my ass the whole ride home even though I was going 20 MPH over the speed limit!

Riding my ass by JerryTurnpike May 31, 2014