Crumpet cunt

Sticking a buttery biscuit in ur cunt and leaving it there till it goes mushy

Oh wait r u crumpet cunting to Nick crompton

by Holocaust 2 August 23, 2017

Sub-Crumpet

Too Sub-Crumpet
Too withhold sex

"Kirke" Gilesie I'm horny
"Giles" Hmph keeps playing with iPhone

later that day...

"Giles" Kirke make sweet love to me...
"Krike" (Raised eyebrows) "You had you chance this morning"

Giles got "sub-crumpeted"

by languagebarrier May 25, 2011

Bulgarian Crumpet

when a guy ejaculates over a crumpet/Pickett or teacake of similar statues. leaving just enough juices to ooze though it, His Partner must eat the cake in order to please his needs.

Sarah was feeling frisky at breakfast so she asked John to give her a Bulgarian Crumpet

by FizzyFee123 April 5, 2017

Soggy Crumpet

Noun - Masturbating while crying; jerkin' with tears in your eyes.

After Brob was dumped by Luke, he couldn't help but give himself a soggy crumpet.

Jeff's nightly activities consist of pizza alone and a soggy crumpet before bed.

by Johnny Jerk Off December 14, 2014

Crumpet Nigger

A British person.

"Oi govna, cheerio then yeah?"
"I don't understand what you're saying you god damn crumpet nigger"

by travid January 20, 2009

Ass Crumpet

A crunchy ring of residue buuilt up around the anus. The result of poor ass wiping.

His ass is full of ass crumpets.

by Crumpetmaster November 25, 2003

shit crumpet

A greeting to a good friend.2 a dried piece of crap.

Hey shit crumpet!

by John Davis June 15, 2003