Dutch Bidet

(Noun) A phenomenon that happens when, while seated and taking a dump, the toilet water splashes onto your asshole, expediting the cleaning and wiping process as if you were using a French bidet.

AKA, Mexican Bidet

Dump-taker: Dude, I dropped a rock-solid deuce yesterday and got such splashback, my ass has never been cleaner before wiping.

Dump-taker's friend: Ah, yes - the classic Dutch Bidet. Why bother renovating the bathroom when you can get one of those?

by Benito Sucio August 29, 2010

Accidental Bidet

When taking a large shit and it hits the water with such force that the water comes back and splashes your cornhole.

Victoria had chipotle for lunch and multiple alcoholic beverages the night before. The combination of beer shits and chipotle had her prairie dogging until she finally reached the toilet. While unleashing the cracken on the can, the shit splashed the water with enough weight for the water to splash back up and hit her butthole. To which she reacted, "Ah how refreshing, the ole accidental bidet."

by leilanotthesong October 12, 2012

american bidet

The spout of water that comes up from the toilet and hits your ass when a turd plops into the water.

"I was just in taking a dump, and I had a pretty good american bidet from that gigantic poop."

by m0m0 July 29, 2004

Russian Bidet

The act of giving someone a rim job after they have produced fecal matter with the intent of removing all poop from their asshole so that they do not have to wipe, as a bidet would do.

Matt: Eric just ate shit worse than a Russian Bidet!

by TwatLicker69 March 27, 2011

Bidet Shit

When one takes a dump that hits the water of the toilet at just the right angle in order for the water the splash back onto the anus, making it inevitably easier to wipe with regular toilet paper.

Friend: "Dude, how do you always shit so fast?" Me:" You know, I just cut down on the wiping time." Friend: "And how do you do that?" Me: I use the old, "Bidet Shit" ploy" Friend: "Ohhhhh... good move man!"

by Ximenez4339 December 17, 2013

Redneck bidet

When you poo in such a way that the water from the toilet splashes and touches your butthole

That Mexican food really exploded out and redneck bidet'd me on the initial splasher.

by sirfuzzle May 13, 2015

Human bidet

Using the face, mouth and tongue to clean someone’s ass after taking a dump. Sometimes referred to human toilet paper or htp. It described to be very arousing and once someone has properly experienced this event they dont want it any other. Can be recorded being a common practice with concubines.

She is sooo hot I wish I could be her human bidet.

by Tina’s December 16, 2021