shit mit

Any piece of attire or fabric used to wipe your ass in desperate situations.

Hiker 1: "I need to take a shit but were stuck in the woods!"
Hiker 2: "Just use your sock as a shit mit."

While taking a shit at a party, Mandy was so drunk she used the shower curtain as a shit mit because in reality she was sitting in the bathtub instead of the toilet.

by dothegoodjob March 8, 2009

shit mitts

Once you have used the restroom to defecate, you proceed to leave the facilities without washing your hands. (also known in Canada as "Shanz". )

Co worker 1: Hey, I just saw Mark coming out of the stall after throwing mud, and he didn't wash his hands before going to his office.

Co-worker 2: Oh no, I just shook Mark's hand.

Co-worker 1: :Damn, he just got you with his shit mitts.

by The Hankys January 8, 2013

shit-mitzvahed

getting shitfaced at a bar or bat-mitzvah

Toby: How was the bat-mitzvah?
Adam: Awesome, I got shit-mitzvahed and hooked up with a 13 year old.

by Ollie (IGR) March 28, 2009

Shit Mitts

To not wash your hands after wiping your ass.

I just watched the boss leave the bathroom without washing his hands. Do not lend him your pen - he has shit mitts!

by The Psychologist February 17, 2007

shit mitten

When you roll toilet paper around ur hand like a mitten and use it to wipe the shit from your ass.

The pipes weren't clogged from the shit itself, it was from the damn shit mitten.

Damn that's a lot of poo! I'm definitely gonna need a shit mitten.

LITTLE KID- "Daddy wipe me.."
FATHER- "Uhh..why dont you use your shit mitten instead."

by rotfloling April 12, 2009

Shit-Mitt

The grime you get on your hand when fisting someone in the pipe. Warning: Failure to wash within 4 hours could result in the "Candy-Coated Shit-Mitt"

I got a Shit-Mitt from Steve's wife.

by Kal-El March 5, 2004

shit mittens

n. A person's hands that are covered in human excrement (shit)
ex. A general description of being displeased, or a term for an unpleasant person

Ex. (n) That guy needs to learn to wipe, he was wearing a pair of shit mittens when he came out of the stall.

(n) My daughter tried to take care of her own diaper, but only ended up with a pair of shit mittens.

(ex) Oh shit mittens!

(ex) Don't listen to that guy, he's just a shit mitten.

by Spc. Edwards August 24, 2006