Contractor's Kit

While most people would think that a contractor's kit might consist of a hammer, nails, and maybe a saw to start with, the truth is that these things are of secondary value to most general contractors. The real Contractor's Kit, which can be found in the back of any work van or truck on any jobsite across the country, consists of the three general contracting essentials: a 30 pack of beer, a fifteen ft. length of rope, and a Smith and Wesson with one bullet as a backup. Usually used to describe your displeasure with a certain scenario or certain circumstances.

ex. 1. "Hey Joey you wanna go to that party over that broad's house tonight?"
"Ya sure, but if she talks to me im gonna go out back and string up the Contractor's Kit."

ex. 2. "Hey Matty what you doin this weekend?"
"I dunno not much probly just gonna string up the Kit off the side of the Tobin Bridge after work you wanna come?

Contractor's Kit by Contractor Craig November 5, 2008

Contractor's Kit

While most people would think that a contractor's kit might consist of a hammer, nails, and maybe a saw to start with, the truth is that these things are of secondary value to most general contractors. The real Contractor's Kit, which can be found in the back of any work van or truck on any jobsite across the country, consists of the three general contracting essentials: a 30 pack of beer, a fifteen ft. length of rope, and a Smith and Wesson with one bullet as a backup. Usually used to describe your displeasure with a certain scenario or certain circumstances.

ex. 1. "Hey Joey you wanna go to that party over that broad's house tonight?"
"Ya sure, but if she talks to me im gonna go out back and string up the Contractor's Kit."

ex. 2. "Hey Matty what you doin this weekend?"
"I dunno not much probly just gonna string up the Kit off the side of the Tobin Bridge after work you wanna come?

Contractor's Kit by Contractor Craig November 9, 2008

contractor scum 

Those that work less hours, with less committment, but get double the pay of full time employees.

Found invariably in the IT industry, but can exist anywhere.

Someone who uses the knowledge that a business needs to recruit quickly and cannot wait to hire a proper person... contractor scum steps in.

contractor scum by James Westy March 26, 2008

Contractor Slut

A Sub contractor that sells himself out to a general contractor by kissing ass doing “special favors “
Whoring one’s self out to get the next job.

That Scott was working at the general contractors house on Sunday for free hoping he gets that next big job. He’s a typical contractor slut he will do anything for praise.

Contractor Slut by Rube18 September 20, 2022

landlord's contract 

A written contract that is supposed to make a transaction look above board and official, and to suggest that the buyer has a degree of comeback, but which the party offering the document can ignore at will. As they say, it's not worth the paper it's printed on.

Dickie O'Kelly presented his tenants with the landlord's contract in connection with the quality of their accommodation, and then disappeared to South Africa with their money.

landlord's contract by Fearman August 10, 2007

Schrödinger's Contract 

A contract signed with invisible ink

Jimmy what are we going to do? They have got us legally!

Not to fear, Austin, I used invisible ink. It is whatever we claim it is, It's Schrödinger's Contract!

Schrödinger's Contract by funl April 28, 2021

Mother-in-law's Contracture 

When a person's lips grant a facial expression of sadness when at rest or even when expressing joy. The lips fail to reach a horizontal orientation even when the person is attempting to smile.

Husband: Your mother looks looks so pissed off right now.

Wife: Nope, she is smiling.
Husband: Yeah, but she has a huge frown; it looks like an upside down U, like the old dude in Up.
Wife: Oh, that's because hse has the mother-in-law's contracture.

Mother-in-law's Contracture by MILFwithMILcontracture January 11, 2011