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Stack's Law of Universal Causality

A law which states that: given sufficient time, some internet user, somewhere, will have posted elaborate arguments for one person, thing, idea or phenomenon being the cause of all of the world's modern day problems. The argument is likely far-fetched.
Joe: Man, the Middle East is getting crazier every day.
Matt: I read a great article the other day about how Middle Eastern instability is primarily caused by Western expectations of gender-role conformity. That also causes income inequality, Donald Trump, and government corruption.
Joe: The only thing you just proved is that Stack's Law of Universal Causality is true.

Jessica: OMG! Why are there so many starving children in Africa.
LeJuana: You see, when you get down to it, Islamic extremism is the primary cause of global hunger, and our poor stock-markets!
Jessica: How do you know that?
LeJuana: I read a tell all article on it at WorldWithoutReligion.com!
Jessica: That's just Stack's Law of Universal Causality at work.
by GreatHillOfTara August 1, 2016
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Percussive Universal Soundwave

A repetitious, unexplainable high frequency radio wave transmission received by earth from an unknown source/location within and/or outside our galaxy.

{From 1962 through 2016, 11 Interstellar Radio Mesessage projects (IRMPs) transmitted 50+ messages out across the universe from earth. In 1996, a unique happenstance occured when the convergence of sound wave files during a studio recording session for the band Vibe 45, revealed an anomaly in the form of a high frequency sound wave blip registering at an astonishing 180k Hz (detectable only by the Alosa Saspidissima aka the American Shad) through a customized Crappatoe transducer equipped with a panoramic floppycack jacker. The evidence file was shared with Dr. Chris Culvitude of Copenhagen for a forensic analysis. Dr. Culvitude disaggregated the wave structure using a four dimensional, parabolic floppycack translator and the results were astonishing. The blip unveiled irrefutable evidence of a Percussive Universal Soundwave, or P.U.S., which surreptitiously, included a complex linguistic code, patterned to form the following words: "We Want The Funk", an extraterrestrial response conveying Alien displeasure related to the 50+ boring messages sent, and a plea to the band members of Vibe 45 to send them some ball knocking, Parliament style grooves in the next transmission. Dr. Culvitude mysteriously disappeared in 2001 and his sound popping theory showcasing P.U.S. was never formally published.
1. Scientists recently detected a Percussive Universal Soundwave from an unknown source in the universe.

2. {Dr. Culvitude shows his floppycack package to D Dog of Vibe 45 and explains} "D Dog, you are not going to believe this. The blip is a Percussive Universal Soundwave, and, when I decrypted the pattern into language, you can actually hear alien voices chanting "We Want the Funk!!"
by Charitable Disguise January 8, 2020
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universal spice rack

a sexual act, in which several men of different races ejaculate on one woman's bare breasts.
Used in sentence: Hey Chad! So, guess what? Me, Jorge, Antwaan, Mohammed, and Chung gave this super hot chick a universal spice rack last night. It was awesome.
by oOBradicalOo March 17, 2010
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universal snap

A generic snap that was clearly sent to multiple people for streaks and/or out of laziness. Against proper snapchat etiquette.
"Omg Andrew just snapped me! He's so into me"
"Nah girl, I got it too. Must have a been a universal snap"
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The universal scoring system.

A system that scores individuals based on "attractiveness" That can range from 1-20. The system is in place so people can rate their overall chance of success of "getting with" someone near the same score.
Can be used in Most scenarios and has a success rate of 80%.
The universal scoring system.
Example: A male rated with a attractiveness of 7 will be successful with a female around 6,7 or 8. The universal scoring system has exceptions to the rule which include:

Location (Billy is trying to find a hot girl in his area, but alas their are no hot girls. Billy who has a US of 15 will have to settle with a 8.)

Money ( Candy has a US of 19. Dave has a US of 7, but Dave is rich. Therefore Candy settles with Dave)

Self esteem ( Sarah rates herself at a 12 even though her US score is 16. Therefore males around 11,12 or 13 have a chance with Sarah.)

Other exceptions can be found, but overall the Universal scoring system is incredibly accurate.
by OnceInMexico September 18, 2013
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universal solvent

water is the universal solvent, Gregor Smith.
by Shame On You Gregor Smith October 26, 2020
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Universal slut excuse

The excuse that EVERY slut uses for being a whore and sleeping with someone else's man.
"If you were taking care of your man, he wouldn't be cheating on you with me".

"oh, the Universal slut excuse , classic. "
by 84hf84ujfjj October 19, 2008
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