Dancing The Fig Newton or doing the Fig Newton refers to the "dance" one does when going through drug withdrawal, namely heroin, or oher opiates. The "dance" is usually done in a bed, with the covers tightly pulled over ones head, and usually includes leg kicking movements, rolling around in bed, and the constant sitting up and lying down again that comes with the uncomfortability of heroin withdrawal. The Fig Newton is traditionally danced in a pool of one's own sweat, and is usually accompanied by the traditional soundtrack of constant moaning, and occasional soft cries and/or whimpers.
I know I haven't seen you guys in a while, but I've been trying to quit this shit, and I spent the last 4 days doing the fig newton in my fucking room.
by Brian Press December 28, 2007

Replacement term for the F word referring to homosexuals, does not sting as much when used negatively.
by Fundabz June 7, 2013

The most godly food in the universe. The greatest cookie thinger ever. It contains the jam of figs and is covered by a chewy cake bread.
by BDALE4LIFE September 26, 2005

by CIZE June 7, 2013

by Ryan Comedic INC October 15, 2006

The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.
-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?
-Ya mom! What's there to eat?
-Fig Newtons
-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.
-Ya mom! What's there to eat?
-Fig Newtons
-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.
by Barnaby J. August 8, 2008

by misaki December 28, 2005
