Cottus

Not to be confused COTUS (Center of the universe syndrome).
Not to be confused with coitus (you know, that).

It's own thing. A beast with a thousand hands. Respect it's thang and you may have the keys to places you know not of in this life!

A: You know that... dude in our Spanish class? The one with the tattoos. Total Cottus.
B: Dude, that's not a dude, dude.
A: Total Cottus!

by bn_thelone_li October 12, 2019

airborne coitus

Periphrastic speech for flying fuck, usually preceded by "I don't give a . . . . ".

I don't give an airborne coitus what Massachuetts senators think!

by Duckbutt November 20, 2005

Contused penis

Also known as breaking your penis

The act of pressuring the blood in your penis shaft, until it rips open with internal bleeding. Symptoms could be a purple swollen shaft

Doctor: "Looks like you have a bad case of a contused penis"
Abel: "I Shouldn't have rolled over

by LebaAnatnom October 31, 2016

Coitus Procrastination

The act of thinking about football, soccer, golf, dead puppies, your mom etc etc during sexual intercourse causing a disruption in your exitement level and thus, not cumming as fast as you normally would (i.e. 1 minute)

Joe- I was about to cum while having sex with my girlfriend, but i had to resort to coitus procrastination since it had only been 45 seconds since penetration.

Mark- Awesome bro! I will start coitus procrastinating from now on!!

Pablo- Que? No el inglishh

by MrPollo2010 February 23, 2010

Coitus Coif

The hairstyle ( coiffure ) you wear after getting a proper and vigorous fucking.

Niiice coitus coif, Dude... she must've been on top this time?

by Scrappy SamCat January 28, 2009

Coitus Conundrum

When you are in a sistuation with two or more hot girls, and you can not identify the hotter girl or whichone you would sleep with.

Dave: Look at all these hot chicks!

Steve: Which one would you sleep with?

Dave: All of them.

Steve: Yeah, but if you had to pick just one.

Dave: ... (Coitus Conundrum)

by Bagseven May 20, 2010

Post-Coitus Mortis

The phase after climax in intercourse where a person becomes completely incapacitated after coitus.

"Hey babe, can you go make some coffee?"
"Can't. I have Post-Coitus Mortis."

by Coffeepot666 November 17, 2021