ALL SHIRTLESS WONDERS SUFFER FROM DOUCHBAGGERY. Ironically, these shirtless wonders are the same guys ("Brah's", in their native tongue) who spend an absurd amount of $$$ on t-shirts - the term for
mass possession of these sparkly,
tattoo, and tribal print shirts is known as "
DOUCHE-SWAGGERY".
An accurate way of identifying these Brahs is to know that they abide by the exact opposite set of laws that traditional vampires do:
As opposed to being unable to be exposed to sunlight, they actively seek out
said sunlit environments. Because of this, you will not see a pale-skinned DB, but rather notice an brown-orange (termed "Bro-orange" by Crayola).
Also contradictory to
vampire dogma, silver or a crucifix does not repel the DB's, as they do vampires. DB's will most often own and wear a silver crucifix, and in extreme cases will wear a silver crucifix overlapping a
tattoo of a crucifix, whilst their arm is slung over their main bitch, stage name "Silver".
Also, churches, which provide a place of protection from vampires, hasn't been proven to repel DB's yet; although a DB has never been spotted in a
house of
God, to date. The best safe haven to run to for protection against DB's is the lower body/legs section of your
local gym - DB's are known to avoid this area AT ALL COSTS.