Florida Man 

When a man makes a jar of shit and cum and blends it, mixes it with water, pours it on someone's face, pins them down and farts on them for 5 minute straight until shit comes out, then proceeds to shove a tiny turd up the woman's vigina. and scream at her face and run away.

Holy shit did you see that Florida Man on the news?
Yeah bro what was that!?

Florida Man by Cool Kid Library March 22, 2023

florida man 

an alleged prevalence of people performing irrational or maniacal actions in the U.S. state of Florida.

Florida man arrested for assaulting 16 people with a frying pan inside a Florida waffle house, and beating up 5 police officer after being 4 times the legal driving limit while intoxicated, also got caught with 5 pounds of crack and LSD.

florida man by tharizzler69 November 5, 2023

Florida Man Fuel 

Methamphetamine or Meth. Used by Florida Man to maintain his rigorous schedule of robbing fast-food restaurants and committing insurance fraud.

Orlando police pulled over a van with 601 pounds of Florida Man Fuel hidden in the back

Florida Man Fuel by Plura Entropy August 2, 2019

Florida Man Self Czech Out

A man from Florida nakedly planks across two little people, who use their above-average upper body strength to support Florida Man’s weight, evenly distributed, of course. Florida Man then masturbates himself to completion onto the awaiting back of a delegate from the Czech Republic, who is crawling on all fours, shirtless, back and forth under the planking Florida Man. The maneuver is complete once the two little people sufficiently belittle Florida Man for his lack of teeth and sperm count.

Meg: Pat has been arrested twice now for his unauthorized performance of the Florida Man Self Czech Out.

James: That’s right! You actually have to be a state resident to perform that unindictedly.

Florida Man Self Czech Out by Blowhole Immersion August 19, 2023

Florida Man Tongue Tickler 

This act must occur with a group of 3 Floridian men. Florida man 1 defecates onto Florida man 2’s head and smears it in. Florida man 3 then rubs his head onto Florida man 2’s head, sharing the fecal matter. Florida man 1 and Florida man 2 begin intercourse with Florida man 2 on top, dripping the feces onto Florida man 1’s face. While that is occurring, Florida man 3 slices three thin slices of Brie. Florida men 1 and 2 separate before either of them can ejaculate. All three Florida men sit in a circle completely naked criss-cross applesauce. Each Florida man then places a slice of Brie around their own schlong. The Florida men then all lean over to give the next person in their Daisy chain a blowjob. After each Florida man gets the next in the circle to ejaculate, that Florida man sits up, his mouth dripping from ejaculation and Brie, leaves it in his mouth. After every Florida man is finished, Florida man 1 and 2 take turns making out with Florida man 3, sharing all of the cum and Brie among each other. At the very end, all 3 Florida men swallow the ejaculation and Brie mix, help each other get clothed again, walk away, and act like nothing ever happened.

“The homies and I had a great weekend, we even did the Florida Man Tongue Tickler.”

Florida Man Tongue Tickler by lairec ocx July 16, 2022

Florida man Fuckfest

Men of all ages gather in a swamp in Florida and masturbate harder than ever before with the crocs and each man see who can ejaculate on the most crocodiles without getting a croc to attack

Me and all my elementary school homies flew down to Florida and had the most lovely Florida man Fuckfest till little Timmy didn’t escape when the crocodile attacked and now we did it again to honor him, couldn’t even make it past second grade

Florida man Fuckfest by Indian Blowhole lover January 2, 2023

Florida Man Colonsseum 

Everyone has heard an adult human rectum can stretch to 7 inches without tearing; and that raccoons can fit into holes as small as four inches. The Florida Man, takes advantage of those last few inches of clearance with the addition of an adult brown striped Atlantic octopus. Octopi can fit into anything larger than their beak. So to preform the Florida Man, one must simply trap a dumpster raccoon, catch an adult Atlantic octopus, and then hogtie the raccoon using the Optimus’s tentacles. At that point a fair amount of axle grease should ease the transition into the rectum, potato cannons can also be used for extra Florida points. The two animals will then fight to the death in the recipient’s rectum, without ever tearing the sphincter.

Bets should be placed about which animal will come out the victor.

It is also important not to bitch out and use Atlantic Pygmy octopi as they are venomous.

Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen come into the ER? We once had a guy come in with a dead raccoon and a live octopus up his ass. Everyone with him apparently had bets going about which animal would be dead when we removed them. They called it the Florida Man Colonsseum

Florida Man Colonsseum by Jdh1002 April 11, 2023