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The state of mind where one feels like a dick about oneself yet remorseful.
The comedian felt penious about telling the fat chick joke to the audience of midgets.
penious by Reprebus August 31, 2006

Pecurious 

Derived from the words peculiar and curious.
Used to refer to an event or thing that appears as particularly strange and out of the ordinary.
Person 1: This specification states that only one character is allowed for indicating the state of residence; however, the official state-codes all have two characters!
Person 2 (puzzled): How pecurious!
Person 1: Curiouser and curiouser!
Pecurious by Thingg May 13, 2010

holy petunias

Holy Petunias is a nice way of saying Holy Shit without cursing. This is a great method to use when being an elementary teacher.
Student; Are they going to feed us lunch on the field trip?

Teacher; Holy Petunias I just said they can't.
holy petunias by yaknowwho707 July 24, 2022

scattering my petunias 

When someone is scattering you petunias, they leave you unsure if you want to cuddle with them and sing cheesy love songs or fuck them until they can't remember which way is up.
Damn, Isley looks so fine in that sweater she's scattering my petunias.

Watering the Petunias 

When a gentleman or lady decides to please themselves via means of intense masturbation or various other forms of sexual stimuli. Not to be confused with milking the cow, no-watering the petunias implies a good deal of artistry involved in the process of satisfying one's desires.
Gentleman 1: Good day to you, sir. You look to be a man about town, as they say, are you not?

Gentleman 2: Indeed I am, but after 9:30 I retire to my chambers to engage in prolonged sessions of watering the petunias.

Pecurious 

When a situation arises when people are suspected of engaging in sexual acts (making out, oral, intercourse, etc.) when suddenly and suspiciously missing.
Person 1: Where is girl/guy?
Person 2: This is quite pecurious...