Failometer 

1. A method of measuring how badly any person, action or object failed. Ranging from 1-10 (or higher if the person failed horribly).

2. A device used to measure the caliber of a fail.

Scenario 1:
Person A: I sat on a chair and broke it.
Person B: That sucks, but it's only a 6.5 on a failometer.


Scenario 2:
Person A: The movie 300 was historically accurate!
Person B: Anyone have an industrial strength failometer? Mine exploded after reading that.

Failometer by Nona Suomy September 25, 2008

fartometer

A triphasic measurement of the extent of stench, the decibel level, and the length of an emission of flatus.

That one most certainly measured a 10-10-10 on my fartometer.

fartometer by Dr Bunnygirl June 5, 2017

Fagometer 

fah-GOM-eh-ter

Works like gaydar, but puts it's results on a scale of 0.0-10.0

That dude tripped off my gaydar, but he only registers 4.6 on the fagometer.

Fagometer by redheadbass March 2, 2011

fagometer 

fag·o·me·ter
1.Instrument for measuring the amount of a persons gayness.
2.Something that registers or responds to gayrods, or anyone that could be considered a homo

Dude 1: "Hey! Lets go clubbin and wear pink stripped button down shirts and drink Appletini's and Red Bull and Vodka's all night. Then come home wasted and give eachother backrubs!"
Dude 2: "Hold on one second......." long pause
(leaves room to grab fagometer)
Loud buzzing noise emits from fagometer
Long pause
"Dude, you are an off the charts fagasaurus!!!"

fagometer by Jontastic May 4, 2005

Fuglometer 

A device for measuring Fugliness. Measures in Fuglitons and SI/m3 (Suicide intent per metre cubed)

"Hey Mark is that a Fuglometer there?" Answer "No why?" "Well you know we could use something to start conversation and we are in a pretty icky part of town."

Fuglometer by gnujunkie December 18, 2011

Fagometer 

Used to measure the level of fagocity of a person. Generally it ranges from 1 to 10.

I measured his fagocity using my fagometer. He was a 10 out of 10.

Fagometer by KIutchy November 29, 2009

Faffometer 

A device or means for measuring the amount of time spent faffing around (as I am doing when writing this entry) as against doing constructive work.
E.g. an excel spreadsheet in which you enter the times when you start faffing and when you start on real production work.

or a stopwatch that you start / stop accordingly.

My productivity has dropped dramatically in the last few weeks, so I'll have to install a faffometer.

Faffometer by Ger_-ger October 26, 2009