Hemorrhoid

1) noun: A swollen varicose vein in or around the anus, rectum or sigmoid colon;
2) adjective: A person who's both useless, and a major pain in the ass, in the most obnoxious of ways. They fall beneath the level of "asshole," because an asshole has some function, at least. A hemorrhoid just gets in the way of your life and causes pain for no reason.

1) I can't sit at all due to this golf-ball of a hemorrhoid in my ass.
2) Jeff is just a total hemorrhoid, that useless shitsack of a dickweed.

Hemorrhoid by Phuqit November 22, 2011

Hemorrhoid

Swollen veins in or outside the anus

that dude is a hemorrhoid

Hemorrhoid by dhar woman July 7, 2022

Hemorrhoid

1 Medical

Hemorrhoids are swollen veins in the anal canal. This common problem can be painful, but it's usually not serious.

Veins can swell inside the anal canal to form internal hemorrhoids. Or they can swell near the opening of the anus to form external hemorrhoids. You can have both types at the same time. The symptoms and treatment depend on which type you have.

Many people have hemorrhoids camera.gif at some time.

Too much pressure on the veins in the pelvic and rectal area causes hemorrhoids.

Normally, tissue inside the anus fills with blood to help control bowel movements. If you strain or sit on the toilet a long time to move stool, the increased pressure causes the veins in this tissue to swell and stretch. This can cause hemorrhoids.

2 Pain in the ass

DAMN ME ANUS HURTS SO BAAAAD FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Jeeeeeeeez you're such a pain in the ass.
Hemorrhoids be op.

Hemorrhoid by The Pleb General February 1, 2016

hemorrhoid

Slang for someone who is tailgating you in a very annoying fashion.

Man! I wish that hemorrhoid would get off my ass and go around me!

hemorrhoid by leftykittykat August 12, 2012

hemorrhoid

An irate little man that pops out of your butthole and screams at you to stop grunting and wiping your ass so hard. He also punishes you for eating Mcdonalds everyday and drinking a case of beer every night.
But since most people get them it's probably just from having an enormous network of pulsating veins at the end of your poopshoot.

Aiiiiieee !!! The little man is back. He screamed at me for sneezing while I was taking a dump.

hemorrhoid by Poster Nutbag June 6, 2003

hemorrhoid

80% of the US population is likely to experience hemorrhoids at some point in their lives. It's pretty damn painful.

hemorrhoid by Darius Janeway April 18, 2003

hemorrhoid

An itching of the bum or painful mass of diolated veins in swollen butthole tissue. Blood or mucus is most likely discharged

That fatty fatty boom batty over there has hemorrhoids and is bleeding out of his anus and he wants you to touch it!!

hemorrhoid by alisha November 29, 2002