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Up the left 

N. Ireland phrase. Describes something gone wrong or something in bad shape. Similar to the phrase describing something that has gone pearshaped.
He was out last night and now his whole week is up the left
Up the left by bigmick123 October 21, 2012

<.7.9.7.6.>Malcolm RIght In The Middle The In Left Malcolm Is Down In The Middle To Be Up In The Middle<.7.9.7.6.> 

<.7.9.7.6.>Malcolm RIght In The Middle The In Left Malcolm Is Down In The Middle To Be Up In The Middle<.7.9.7.6.>
<.7.9.7.6.>Malcolm RIght In The Middle The In Left Malcolm Is Down In The Middle To Be Up In The Middle<.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6.>Malcolm <`'`Z`~`a`'`Xis`~`>RIght In The Middle The In Left Malcolm Is Down In The <`'`X`~`Axis>Middle<`'`Y`~`A`xis`'`> To Be Up In The Middle<.7.9.7.6.> 

<.7.9.7.6.>Malcolm <`'`Z`~`a`'`Xis`~`>RIght In The Middle The In Left Malcolm Is Down In The <`'`X`~`Axis>Middle<`'`Y`~`A`xis`'`> To Be Up In The Middle<.7.9.7.6.>
<.7.9.7.6.>Malcolm <`'`Z`~`a`'`Xis`~`>RIght In The Middle The In Left Malcolm Is Down In The <`'`X`~`Axis>Middle<`'`Y`~`A`xis`'`> To Be Up In The Middle<.7.9.7.6.>

up your ass and to the left 

up your ass and to the left 

Where something is located that someone else is looking for.
"Has anyone seen my glasses?"
"They're up your ass and to the left."

up your ass & to the left 

A dismissive way to answer someone annoying you for help, or just to be an asshole. Especially useful at work.
"Where can I find the foot-long dildos?" "Up your ass & to the left."

"Did you get that memo from the staff meeting?" "Yeah, it's up your ass & to the left."