paranonoia 

A person's belief that any anonymous commenter on the Internet must actually be that person's worst enemy, out to embarrass them in front of the entire world, of which the vast majority is surely reading that very comment. A person suffering from paranonoia may be said to be "paranonoid."

Harvey's blood froze when he saw the anonymous comment on craigslist rants-and-raves warning women looking for male companions about a dark-haired man with a goatee with a tiny penis and the romantic skills of a wounded mallard who wouldn't even pay for dinner on a first date.

"Mildred! This must be from Mildred! This is nonsense! I left the entire tip! And this is a Van Dyke, not a goatee!"

He saw that his friend Bartholomew was online and initiated a chat with him. "Mildred is telling people that I have a tiny penis and am cheap and goateed! Here's proof!" He included a link to the defamatory comment and waited.

The response came back in just over two minutes: "Sir, there are about a quarter of a million men on the dating scene around here and half of them have facial hair. That could be anyone talking about anyone. Gird yourself. You are suffering from the worst case of paranonoia I've seen this week."

paranonoia by Occupy Urban Dictionary January 5, 2012

scantron paranoia 

the feeling one experiences when taking a test on a scantron and getting the same answer multiple times in a row; applies to students

I got five B's in a row on my scantron, one of them HAD to have been wrong. I hate scantron paranoia.

scantron paranoia by iCoinedThat1199 December 28, 2009

Boner Paranoia 

When you have a boner and everything looks fuckable (extremely horny)

Bro, I have boner paranoia. I'm so down to fuck my 45 year old Hispanic house keeper.

Boner Paranoia by Martin Luber King October 21, 2016

Peter Paranoia 

One who will make false accusations about people and be unable to back them up.

They will convince themselves that the accusations are real, and will never admit that it was made up.

Peter Paranoia claimed that Joe was stealing all of his tools from his shed, then Peter Paranoia accused somebody of urinating in his chocolate biscuits and lemonade.

What a cuckoo!

Peter Paranoia by meds4u January 15, 2010

last.fm paranoia 

Stopping an embarrassing song right before the halfway point so that it won't scrobble and show on your last.fm profile.

Alice: I had better stop this K-pop song; it's at 2:04 and the song is 4:25.
Bob: Sounds like you've got last.fm paranoia.

last.fm paranoia by Clayffer Johanson August 16, 2010

webmd paranoia

when you become paranoid because webmd matched your symptoms with an incurable disease, usually cancer.

guy 1: whats wrong man? you seem to be acting like your about to die
guy 2: i have a headache that has been going for weeks and when i looked on webmd i apparently have a brain tumor
guy 1: you just have a case of webmd paranoia

webmd paranoia by wangodango August 21, 2012

Paranokia

Paranokia

(noun)

A state of anxiety that afflicts cellphone users and results in the following behaviours:

- Many people simultaneously checking their phones when a message arrival tone is heard. Generally occurs in a public/crowded place.

- Frequent checking that keylock is enabled and that a phone isn't accidentally pocket dialing someone, especially if that person is currently being gossiped about

- Constantly checking for new text messages or emails, even though you haven't heard or felt one arrive since you last checked

- Having left your phone behind at home or the office, the feeling of absolute certainty that you are missing vitally important messages and/or booty calls

Having once accidentally pocket dialed the boyfriend of the girl he was having backseat sex with, Jeff's paranokia ensured that he switched his phone off during subsequent engagements.

Paranokia by Sir Garence March 10, 2009