1. An adult male of excess mass who regards women as an
accessory to his
overweening ego
2. An obese man who builds his muscles at the expense of his character
3. A man who squeezes into girls jeans without regard to the girth of his ass
4. One who loves an
ice cream sandwich almost as much as he loves himself
5. One whose vanity blinds him from the terror of fat growing on his thighs
Matt the Fat shouldn’t try to bulk up because his ass will always be a jiggly pool of
cellulite.
Richard Simmons on Matt the Fat: "I've met middle-aged women who have less
cellulite on their ass than Matt the Fat."