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Disingenuous Dense Motherfucker 

A person that doesn't know something about something so they don't know how to tie their shoes.
You Disingenuous Dense Motherfucker obviously you have to know something about something or you couldn't tie your shoes.

Disingenuous Assertions 

Disingenuous: lacking in frankness, candor, or sincerity; falsely or hypocritically

Assertion: positive statement or declaration, often without support or reason: a mere assertion; an unwarranted assertion.

put the two together and you have Disingenuous Assertions so I'll dumb it down for you people

Disingenuous Assertions: pretty much lying to make someone look good and something that so infuriating that it makes soldiers want to punch reporters
I've had enough of your disingenuous assertions
Disingenuous Assertions by Bushyfro September 29, 2011

Disingenuous Dense Mother Fucker 

A man who cannot tie his shoes.
Disingenuous Dense Mother Fucker: a man who can not tie his shoes and can fail you a speed-run.
Putting a CD on each side of your glasses, and moving your head in a way which causes the CD's to rotate in front of your eyes.
Sam is weird as fuck. He sent me a video of him discing
Discing by E-in September 3, 2017

disingenue

A young woman whose appearance of artless innocence hides a biting insincerity.
The disingenue projected incompetence and bewilderment at the menial tasks of her internship, but only because she felt they were beneath her.
disingenue by bluestocking February 25, 2008

discofinger 

The act of dancing with one finger (generally the index finger) extended. Can be done with one or both hands.

Discofinger has existed as long as mankind; in ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics we see the pharaohs, digits extended in exaltation of what can only be described as the precursors of pop.

The are many variations on the current discofinger--arm-pumping, twirling, the doorbell--and possible adaptations are still being discovered to this day.
While the rest of the crowd engaged in the ubiquitous "rock fist," Benway stood out from the crowd with his enthusiastic discofinger, thus showing his appreciation of the tunage.
discofinger by Disco Finger October 1, 2007