winding your ass and scratching your watch 

Southern slang which describes a condition where one is confused, aloof, or just plain stupid. This condition is the anthisis of winding a watch and scratching your ass; which are normal process for any redneck over the age of 50 who is not drunk, stoned, or both.

Damn son, don't just stand there "winding your ass and scratching your watch", flip the hamburgers!

winding your ass and scratching your watch by clintoncousin December 11, 2007

Screeching Owl 

An expressive form of Dirty Dynamite that sores from your colon at such a rapid speed that it makes you mimic the unpleasant sounds of a screeching owl.
End Results: Self induced Pink Sock & shredded linoleum from the clenching of your toe claws.

Oh my God Bertha, after eating that macho combo burrito from Del Taco, I was buckled up in the restroom with a screeching owl.

Screeching Owl by Jeepersbo February 5, 2007

Scrunchie for hoodie 

September 20th is national trade a boy your scrunchie for his hoodie day.

Girl: has scrunchie

Boy: has sweatshirt
Both: trade
Scrunchie for hoodie

Scrunchie for hoodie by Thomasthetrainboi September 19, 2019

blunder crunching 

Combination of "blunder" and "number crunching," describing the exasperating experience of trying to figure out which supermarket item is giving you more for your money on a dollar per ounce basis.

A lot of times these days supermarkets will break down the cost per ounce right on the face of the shelf price tag. However, sometimes you find yourself blundering through basic algebra, trying your best to hold your own. Forget about it if you're trying to convert between grams and ounces: you're just done, and you'll make your decision on some other factor.

If you have your phone with you, you can use the calculator function to avoid blunder crunching. In no case, however, must you mumble to yourself out loud as you try to do the calculations.

Don't be the guy mumbling to himself while trying to decide between Starkist tuna or the store brand. Keep your blunder crunching as private as possible.

blunder crunching by Ae5Ea8 April 6, 2015

Give A Guy Your Scrunchie Day 

On November 8th you must give a guy your scrunchie because it’s international give a guy your scrunchie day

“Hey, it’s November 8th, Give A Guy Your Scrunchie Day.”
*gives scrunchie*

Give A Guy Your Scrunchie Day by Hoppydylan October 28, 2019

Crunching

Synonymous to hitting on, having a crush on, or wooing someone. Can also be used to describe the act of throwing someone the sex eyes.

Originally coined in the movie "Never Been Kissed" with Drew Barrymore.

Girl-"Guy is totally crunching on you."
Barrymore-"Do I wanna be crunched?"
Girl-"By Guy? Oh yeah."

Crunching by immahlamb September 10, 2011

Brown dog scratching at my door 

I have to poop.

At work...
Travis: "Oh man, I've got a brown dog scratching at my door, I don't think I can keep him in until lunch."
Ann: "Come on, can't you learn to take a shit BEFORE coming in to work?"

Brown dog scratching at my door by Shatrabel June 16, 2010