Chronic Masturbatory Syndrome 

Chronic Masturbatory Syndrome is an affliction given to any person, male or female, normally around puberty, adulthood, and even in old age.

The telltale signs of Chronic Masturbatory Syndrome, or CMS, is very clear. The afflicted person may seem fidgety at points, and express their sexual fantasies.

Then comes the time when they masturbate. A lot.

We're talking 3 to 9 times a day.

This will happen at random times, and can pop up at any time.

They'll look at the most depraved porn just to get off.

This is a condition affecting many, and there is no known cure.

"Hey dude, are you feeling okay?"

"Man, I got a bad case of CMS."

"Chronic Masturbatory Syndrome? I'll get the tissue paper."

Chronic Masturbatory Syndrome by ShantyMan69t February 12, 2013

self masturbatory 

This is how you describe someone who strokes their ego or virtue signals (to and around others)

Bob: why do people keep putting their names on urban dictionary?
Sally: its ridiculous. Its self masturbatory

self masturbatory by The Feelgoods December 13, 2020

anti-masturbatory

Something that halts or reduces one's urge to jack off.
Anything classified as "cute" is automatically anti-masturbatory, otherwise it would just be "hot".

I was getting busy looking at porn then I heard the most anti-masturbatory thing ever:
Meatwad from adult swim's Aqua Teen Hunger Force's voice.

anti-masturbatory by Battery September 17, 2005

Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome 

Trauma inflicted on a partner during sex from pressing too hard, or repetitively thrusting your body into your partner's causing injury.
That weird syndrome is a result of years of masturbation where your thrusts are controlled by hand grip and that makes it harder for you to carry on with the same rhythm and strenght in real act sex. Sufferers usually lack sensitivity in their sexual organs and finally succumb to desensitization.
Also: TMS.

-Widower's Syndrome (Widow's Syndrome in women) is the 'mirror-disease' of Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome: a condition caused by lack of sex/masturbation that mighy lead to impotence.

Another urnio-genital skin condition is cunnily called Onan's trauma: hardened penis skin that lack sensitivity from way too much 'jerking the gherkin'!

Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome by hammer---;, hytham April 20, 2007

Dysrhythic Masturbatory Syndrome (DMS) 

Someone who’s rhythm is so bad they can’t achieve orgasm by manual masturbation. Once they start they can’t stop, and just can’t quite get to completion. Producing a dysrhythmic fapping that can be heard for hours, until chaffing causes cessation.

Bob was diagnosed with Dysrhythic Masturbatory Syndrome (DMS), his neighbours had filed noise complaints for odd and annoying clapping sounds at all hours of the day and night.

Dysrhythic Masturbatory Syndrome (DMS) by Nyxocotic July 13, 2023

Macsturbator 

1. A self-righteous, blindly optimistic, and outspoken proponent of Apple products.

2. An Apple Fanboy.

Adam: "I LOVE my Mac. OS X is PERFECT! That's why it NEVER gets viruses!"

Bob: "No, OS X doesn't gets viruses because 98% of the world uses PCs, Macsturbator."

Macsturbator by CleffedUp July 31, 2009

chronic masturbator 

A person who masturbates more than 3 times a day, and cannot go a day with out masturbation.

Friend: Bro! did you hear that Johnny filled up a 2 little jar with cum.
you: ya I heard he is a chronic masturbator 1

chronic masturbator by MexicanPog November 16, 2020