An unusually large
human-like ape from the sausage-smoker
monkey family, originating from the deep black forests of Soviet Siberia.
The Kipprises are
lonely creatures who usually live in packs of one, and procreate by masturbating into electrolyte-infused bottled
water, and drinking the mixed concoction while eating Cabanos, or sadomizing helpless victims of debilitating
scooter accidents.
After giving birth to their babies, Kipprises abandon their babies and will leave them to fend for themselves.
Kipprises are very expressive and use their social abilities to capture the attention of other ape species, but will usually lose interest after that attention is acquired and will return to their cave, where they like to use their oversized fingers to anally arouse themselves.
“You can lock a Kippris in the
zoo, but you can’t make it stop
masturbating and
eating Shawarma. These creatures are just too wild”